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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to memes@lemmy.world · 3 个月前

Another productive meeting

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Another productive meeting

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to memes@lemmy.world · 3 个月前
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  • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    Pro tip: Add a background image to your video conference for privacy.

    Most unsettling part here is toilet paper positioning (if not cat owner).

    • HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      The toilet paper is loaded backwards

      • marduk@lemmy.sdf.org
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        3 个月前

        Every time my ex would reload, she loaded it this way. Every time I found it this way, I would reverse it

        • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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          3 个月前

        • Hawke@lemmy.world
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          3 个月前

          I’m pretty sure this was a contributing factor in my parents divorce.

      • GFGJewbacca@midwest.social
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        3 个月前

        Excuse me, that’s the best way to load toilet paper. The best overall, however, is a bidet. Ascend, my child.

        • Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works
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          3 个月前

          Is there a way on Lemmy to downvote and upvote at the same time?

          The first part of your statement says you should up your meds, the second part is lucid though.

          • Bgugi@lemmy.world
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            3 个月前

            Lemmy needs to distinguish itself with character-level voting. Somebody made a great post but unironically used an interrobang? Hit 'em right in the analytics.

            • Denjin@lemmings.world
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              3 个月前

              What did you just say about the interrobang‽

              • LilB0kChoy@midwest.social
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                3 个月前

                What’s an interrobang‽

            • Seeker of Carcosa@feddit.uk
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              3 个月前

              “Exquisite use of an interrobang, good sir. I doff my fedora to thee.”

    • just some guy@sh.itjust.works
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      3 个月前

      As a cat owner, you’ll never catch my rolls in this blasphemous position. Kitty’s getting misted if he confuses hanging TP as a toy

    • nexguy@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      So it would look like you are chest deep in a toilet. It’s the way I prefer it anyway.

      • RobotZap10000@feddit.nl
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        3 个月前

        How do you poop? A chart showing exciting new pooping postures that break the current boundaries of the pooping experience.

        • MotoAsh@lemmy.world
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          12 小时前

          deleted by creator

        • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
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          3 个月前

          none of these there’s not enough crying

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 个月前

      Cat owner… my stupid bois have found a way to empty the roll even when it’s placed like that. Nothing is safe.

    • Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org
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      3 个月前

      if not cat owner

      Bend the cardboard roll on the inside so it becomes oval-shaped. That way it doesn’t keep unrolling if they pull on it

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      That would not stop a cat

    • rovingnothing29@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      The toilet paper is correctly installed

  • gaterush@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    A bonus is you can invite your dental hygienist over and have your teeth cleaned while you work

  • mvirts@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    chokes to death on coffee

    • RedPostItNote@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      Dies by monitor to face

      • Denjin@lemmings.world
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        3 个月前

        At least he died doing what he loved. Being in a Teams call about interdepartmental efficiencies.

  • sprite0@sh.itjust.works
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    deleted by creator

    • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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      3 个月前

      I bet they were laughing too before pretending to be mad

      • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        yeah, i bet they were trying to think of ways to reject it for op but approve it for themselves

  • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 个月前

    I don’t think people realise that these setups (less exaggerated) are usually for disabled or chronically ill people unable to sit up.

    • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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      3 个月前

      So me on a Wednesday morning after a questionable amount of moonshine the night before?

      • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        For some chronic illnesses. Yeah. But imagine that for life. And that’s the best you feel. It can get worse. Sometimes for long periods, you don’t know if you will get back even to the that “shitty best you feel”. And even at your best, you barely feel a fraction as good as a healthy person.

        You don’t get to feel okay your birthday, or on christmas, or when you need to do something special. You just feel ill, like a bad hangover or bad flu, in perpetuity.

        That’s the reality for a lot of severe chronic illnesses.

        • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          3 个月前

          That’s me today! I’m playing my favorite game: chronic illness or acute illness?

  • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    this does no look confortable

    • Dabundis@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      If you use both hands to type the mouse would either fall off or be damgling from its cord

      • marduk@lemmy.sdf.org
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        3 个月前

        I think it’s a trackball stuck in place but I could be wrong

        • ahornsirup@feddit.org
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          3 个月前

          Congratulations, you made it worse.

        • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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          3 个月前

          Indeed even worse

      • hddsx@lemmy.ca
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        3 个月前

        Use a trackball and tape the base to the desk?

        • Skua@kbin.earth
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          3 个月前

          Tiny jet engine that thrusts uphill to counteract gravity whenever your hand isn’t on the mouse

          • Farid@startrek.website
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            3 个月前

            Electromagnets engage when you release the mouse.

  • CtrlAltDefeat@sh.itjust.works
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    3 个月前

    Can get a dental cleaning during meetings, awesome

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      Combining “company quarterly review” with “dental cleaning”, while time efficient, is a kind of sensory combo that’s right up there with “nuts and gum”. Sounds great until you think it through a bit.

      Edit: I’ve actually done the latter by accident. 1/10 - “I don’t know what I expected.”

      • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        “nuts and gum”

        together at last!

    • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 个月前

      Put a big hole in that incline and your proctologist can do their thing too!

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    3 个月前

    How’s Eternal Death Slayer 3 coming along, JP?

    • otacon239@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      Do you like my music?

      You would if you had ROBOT EARS

    • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org
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      3 个月前

      Mmmm beeb boop please sit on my face mmmm

    • Sc00ter@lemmy.zip
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      3 个月前

      Im thinking about getting robot legs. Its a risky procedure

  • jaschen306@sh.itjust.works
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    3 个月前

    thud oh sorry, brb… my mouse just slid off my table.

    • TheOakTree@lemm.ee
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      You would probably want a wired mouse for this one… maybe it could work like a bungee?

      • nelly_man@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        Or a trackball mouse that’s secured in place.

      • jaschen306@sh.itjust.works
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        3 个月前

        I think someone should invent a magnetic mouse

  • subterfuge@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    Doubles as a hospital baby delivery bed, so you can work through labor.

    • Cort@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      Oh America, what will you think up next?

  • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 个月前

    Why isn’t this the standard?

    • bob_lemon@feddit.org
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      3 个月前

      Because the mouse falls off the table the second you start typing.

      • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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        3 个月前

        Magnetic mouse?

        • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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          3 个月前

          If there’s one thing I like it’s resistance as I move my mouse

        • SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org
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          3 个月前

          A trackball mouse attached to the desk is the obvious solution. Velcro would work.

      • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
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        3 个月前

        This is why you have the mouse grafted to the employee’s hand for optimal efficiency

      • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        Magnets, bro, how do they work? /s

      • MysteriousSophon21@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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        trackball mouse solves this probelm, been using one for years and it’s a game changer for weird setups like this lol

  • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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    That looks a lot more expensive than just a VR headset and a recliner or bed you likely already own. And in VR you can pick whether it’s 3 monitors, or one seamless curved triple-wide, no matter what you own in real life. And you can keep the monitor(s) with you when you stand up if you want.

    But, what I’m curious about… how is this a “shoes on” occasion?

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOPM
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      3 个月前

      But, what I’m curious about… how is this a “shoes on” occasion?

      Work dress code.

      • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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        Hehe, fair.

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    3 个月前

    Good luck getting up to pee.

    • shoo@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      Plenty of places to hang a catheter

      • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        they make these things called condom catheters

        • Etterra@discuss.online
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          I wish I didn’t know what words are.

          • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
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            3 个月前

            it’s not a sounding tool, it’s a “i have significant trouble getting or staying up, or significant trouble with urinary continence, or both: and have a penis, and do not want to use a traditional catheter” tool. dad used them when he was dying and losing control of (all of) his muscles so he wouldn’t wet the bed at night at 65. it’s basically a condom that, instead of having a little bubble for semen at the end, it has a non-inserted catheter, so you can urinate into it. they make at-home catheter management a lot easier, as foleys only safely last a month to my knowledge.

  • HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    I would just fall asleep

  • mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub
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    3 个月前

    But the desk blocks me from accessing my penis???

    • Etterra@discuss.online
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      3 个月前

      There’s a peripheral for that.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      This is a poorly designed masturbatorium

      • yesoutwater@lemm.ee
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        3 个月前

        Nap?! This is not the place for a nap

    • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
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      You can’t see it so you probably wouldn’t be aware of its existence

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