Much like living with ADHD, relying on technology is a godsend for navigating stuff other people find easy.

For fellow brains out there: my phone’s calendar and reminders supplement the bits of my brain that just can’t/won’t organize or tell time properly. I schedule all kinds of inane stuff and it really helps. With practice, anxiety has dropped to the occasional “where is my phone?” easter-egg hunt. My cyborg-like existence is a lot less stressful now.

In the real world: NY State has the distinction of having some of the most well-intended-yet-confusing-as-hell signage in the country. That said, PA has some of the most under-specified signage and is just is terrible for totally different reasons. Good thing navigation apps like Google Maps make it all irrelevant.

::stares at image for five minutes just to make sure I’m not missing a metal-band logo reference in there somewhere::

Oh no. I just realized it’s possible there’s a fan-made (maybe fanfic?) top/bottom chain-of-command for all of Trek. I’m also realizing that there may be something out there that sits in the space between Rule34 and Memory Bank Alpha. I mean, there’s a Lewd Trek site/database out there somewhere, right?^1

1. No, you first. I’m not doing that to my search history.

Right in the feel-ters and the sens-ors.

That last panel: (thinking) You slappable, brilliant, sonofabitch.

Except diary. Milk has an expiration date that (for me at least) is accurate to within 12 hours or so, when refrigerated.

Protip: if this plagues you, grab the Lactaid (lactose-free) stuff. It lasts longer. Soy milk lasts even longer than that, but I get that’s not for everyone.

but I try a random one and am pleasantly surprised when it works.

While I’m not at all a lucid dreamer, I’m gonna try my hardest to recall that one; maybe that’ll work. Thank you.

Oh, my brain has cooked up a much bigger menu of recurring awfulness. Like a weekly pop-up restaurant, here’s what’s on offer from time to time:

Appetizers

• forgot to study for exam
• forgot locker combo
• forgot where next class is
• wander endlessly through the backrooms
• sampler platter (a little bit of everything on this list)

Entrees

• teeth fall out
• show up naked to class
• can’t pull anything together at work

Dessert

• car completely disintegrates while driving on freeway
• standing in a skyscraper as its falling over
• elevator floor drops out

Clearly there’s a theme around helplessness and anxiety. I am indeed in the process of sorting that out, but it’s a long process.

If true, that would explain the pictures. That is the face of “I can’t deal with ::waves arms at everything:: this, right now.”

Civet coffee?

I was gonna say. Doesn’t seem right that they can just add up the MSRP like that and claim it’s millions worth of something if nobody’s buying. Plus, I’d wager the manufacturing cost of all that is significantly lower.

Hrmf, figures.

The ability of some people to ironically self-label will always astound me.

they would rather have it occupied and being paid than the tenants leave and the place sit empty.|

Small-time landlords (maybe what’s going on here) are also more sensitive to disruptions in cash-flow. That is, a tenant that can’t pay rent or is just tearing up the place. So it’s more desirable to retain a tenant that can keep paying, even if they’re not worth top-dollar to you.

I also just threw up in my mouth a bit while typing that out.

Once you get up to corporate scale however, I’m guessing that you just have a certain percentage of bad tenants no matter what you do. So part of your overhead is processing evictions and refurbishing units for new renters. As a result, it is less risky to squeeze everyone a little harder.

I got a lot of professional advice and guidance in the moment to kick the door to mindfulness wide open. I wish I could share any one thing specific to help anyone replicate the experience. I honestly think this kind of Gnostic awakening has to be tailored to the individual. Also, I was told I was a quick study at this - so sadly, it may take a long time to get there (months to years even).

One exercise we did that helped a lot was to have a discussion with your younger self, and explore what you would say knowing what you know now. Like with a lot of this stuff, the key is to verbalize - it’s fundamentally different than talking to yourself with your inner monologue. So you’re gonna need a close friend that you can share a LOT of deeply traumatic experiences. Pulling punches and censoring your own speech is just going to get in the way. Fundamentally, this is what we pay counselors for: privacy, not judging, and helping to take out the trash. Group therapy may help here too - I have yet to try this, so YMMV.

On a more specific note, I used to be obsessed with root-cause-analysis for my own psychological problems. I almost got into an argument with my counselor over it, until he was able to help me see the light. You can absolutely figure out why and even how you got this way, but that information will absolutely not help you if you’re already in a safe space. It can help you break free of someone or a bad situation, but stuff that happened 30 years ago? Not so much. When you get down to it, there’s no “undo” button for trauma, no matter how much you know. Instead, one must look to the present, exercise mindfulness in the moment of anxiety and triggers, and practice walking your headspace back to a more rational place.

Edit: this was all during the pandemic, BTW. I can’t say that compares to what we have going on today, but I can confidently say that it’s possible to focus on self-help despite all that. It’s really possible to separate “things that are going on in the world” and “things that are just me” in your own head, and work on the latter.

Those things were marvelous. You could hear each keystroke slam into the platen two houses down.

Buy a Model-M and don’t look back. Things are built tough.

Plus vintage models were designed for folks that coded in C/C++. So you know they’re up to the task. ;)

Bias. Good 'ol plain bias.

Unless you’re very self-aware, one requires actual training and practiced mindfulness to break free from that in all endeavors. There’s also some lack-of-the-outside-world going on too - one would need to have at least thought about world experiences apart from one’s own, to consider alternative possibilities.

They hesitated, so there’s a chance.

I’d ask to have a conversation since I’m dead anyway - what do they have to lose? May as well go out amused.

Yikes.

For the uninitiated, that’s like having your life flash before your eyes but all you remember is every vivid detail from Evangelion.