A 2021 study by the Census revealed that childless adults age 55 and older had a median net worth of $153,900 compared to $130,400 for biological parents.
Same. I was born five months after they were married. I know I was an accident and that I financially taxed them as a baby. Saying “I regret having you” doesn’t have to mean they regret having you so much as when or how they did. I bet my folks would have liked to wait, lol
Obviously it’s not for everyone, but I had this conversation with my parents after telling them I planned not to have children and it was… Fine? Kind of a bonding moment, even, we mostly just laughed about it.
Not every parent/child relationship trends this way, but for some of us there’s a point in adulthood where you just become friends with your parents, and the parent/child roles sort of fall away. If everybody’s mature and secure enough to handle it, talk about whatever the hell you want to.
I am quite certain that you are a skilled enough communicator to not say
If I had to redo my life, that’s what I’d do.
Which is directly wishing your children were never born, and is a fundamentally different conversation from “By all means, opt not to have children - our financial lives would look quite different if we did not.”
As with most things, how you say it matters as much or more than what you’re saying.
Lol people should feel comfortable enough to admit to their kids they were a mistake. We need to normalize being able to express that so that people can learn to make better choices.
Because the alternative is the child finds out through negative actions and abuse. Lying to your kid their whole lies that they were wanted is like lying about then being adopted. They will make the connection once they make the same mistake and it is too late.
A person an regret having children or missing out on the (childless) life they might have had without regretting the human beings who are their children. Those are just… different things.
Maybe not to you, but plenty of us are secure enough in our existence to have honest conversations with our parents about these things. I hope you get there some day, friend.
Heard it most of my childhood and having the nickname “The Divorce Baby” didn’t help. But honestly I also wish I had never been born so I wasn’t super bothered by it.
I always tell my parents they should have foregone having kids as they missed out on a lot of happy memories. My dad became a nervous wreck as soon as he became a parent and took him decades to chill out. They both passed on adhd and anxiety disorders they didn’t know how to treat so yeah, good times. Most people don’t have anything great to pass on genetically to their kids. I really have had no use of my dad’s artistic talents when I’m too unfocused from unmedicated adhd to do anything with it. And who cares if I am great at multitasking if I have too much anxiety to drive.
My parents would have been better off and would have seen the world. I would have not existed and that’s totally fine!
There will never be a time in which your children are cool with you telling them that you wished they’d never been born
I kind of disagree, I would completely understand if my parents said that. Maybe it’s because the math is so clear to me.
Same. I was born five months after they were married. I know I was an accident and that I financially taxed them as a baby. Saying “I regret having you” doesn’t have to mean they regret having you so much as when or how they did. I bet my folks would have liked to wait, lol
Obviously it’s not for everyone, but I had this conversation with my parents after telling them I planned not to have children and it was… Fine? Kind of a bonding moment, even, we mostly just laughed about it.
Not every parent/child relationship trends this way, but for some of us there’s a point in adulthood where you just become friends with your parents, and the parent/child roles sort of fall away. If everybody’s mature and secure enough to handle it, talk about whatever the hell you want to.
I am quite certain that you are a skilled enough communicator to not say
Which is directly wishing your children were never born, and is a fundamentally different conversation from “By all means, opt not to have children - our financial lives would look quite different if we did not.”
As with most things, how you say it matters as much or more than what you’re saying.
Lol people should feel comfortable enough to admit to their kids they were a mistake. We need to normalize being able to express that so that people can learn to make better choices.
Because the alternative is the child finds out through negative actions and abuse. Lying to your kid their whole lies that they were wanted is like lying about then being adopted. They will make the connection once they make the same mistake and it is too late.
You realize one of the benefits of social media is being able to voice a thought without having to refine it first right?
Yes. I also do not see how this person literally regretting their children can possibly be interpreted any other way
A person an regret having children or missing out on the (childless) life they might have had without regretting the human beings who are their children. Those are just… different things.
Not to their children.
Weird hill to die on man. This is an innocuous, very reasonable comment.
Maybe not to you, but plenty of us are secure enough in our existence to have honest conversations with our parents about these things. I hope you get there some day, friend.
Lol when I was 17, during my mom’s divorce of us, she told me she wishes she hadn’t had kids because she didn’t get to party enough.
So now I have 3 kids and I’m a swinger, best of both worlds.
Things worked out
Heard it most of my childhood and having the nickname “The Divorce Baby” didn’t help. But honestly I also wish I had never been born so I wasn’t super bothered by it.
I always tell my parents they should have foregone having kids as they missed out on a lot of happy memories. My dad became a nervous wreck as soon as he became a parent and took him decades to chill out. They both passed on adhd and anxiety disorders they didn’t know how to treat so yeah, good times. Most people don’t have anything great to pass on genetically to their kids. I really have had no use of my dad’s artistic talents when I’m too unfocused from unmedicated adhd to do anything with it. And who cares if I am great at multitasking if I have too much anxiety to drive. My parents would have been better off and would have seen the world. I would have not existed and that’s totally fine!