I had 3 cats who were all siblings born in my house. I didn’t want to keep them at first, because I was a broke-ass grad student — but of course, I’m a sucker.

When the ex and I split, I suddenly and unexpectedly became a single cat dad. It was a very fucked up time, but the felines and I made it through. A few years later, when they were around 10 years old, one disappeared, and the other two passed away within a year.

A mouse ran across our floor less than 24 hours after the last brother died, so, even though I felt a little weird about it, my then-housemate and I adopted an awesome little teenage dumpster cat two days later. No more mice.

Housemate and new cat friend moved out ~6 months later, and unfortunately, new kitty died of a heart defect almost a year to the day when we got her.

My friend/former housemate had already been considering adopting a playmate for the dumpster baby, so he got on the local rescue organization website that night, and lo and behold, there was my cat who had disappeared almost exactly two years before.

So, even though it was weird to make a new cat friend so soon after mine had died, the short and very happy life of dumpster kitty led to the return of my boy who had been missing for two years. We just celebrated his 12th birthday a few weeks ago, and I am so, so thankful to have him back in my life.

Tax payment, when he discovered where I grow the catnip a few days ago:

When I have gotten another cat after one died, it was never a replacement. It was giving a home to cat who needed one. A cat sitting in a shelter waiting for their chance. And I tend to adopt animals that are harder to place due to age or other factors (e.g. “does not get along with dogs or kids”) that are a non-issue for me.

This is how I operate too. Any cat in my care is me doing my part, never getting another animal because it would destroy the integrity of the legacy of the one I had previously?.. Kinda seems self-defeating.

My current familiar is Nessa, a temperamental slightly-wild girl who will hard bite you if you don’t know what you’re doing with her, but I’ve held cats for almost 20 years now and I know what to do and what not to do to keep her from biting me. Someone else’s house? Some meathead’s house? A big house full of kids? She’d get thrown out in a month.

The truth is this is how all relationships work. Every friendship, every family member, every lover, every child, and yes, every pet. They’re not all the same, but they do all end.

Whether you grow distant over time, suddenly go separate ways, or have to say goodbye to someone who’s already gone… eventually, you lose them, or they lose you.

I don’t want to be misconstrued about the differences between different kinds of relationships. But spending time with a short-lived pet can be a little like spending time with an elder near the end. You don’t have a long time, but you can have a good time, and you can make each other’s lives just a little bit better in the process.

And always rescue where possible. Not all breeders are bad, but all rescues need a home. Don’t support any abusive for-profit granny and pappy mills.

And calling people that get another animal heartless isn’t?

Anyway, it was meant as a commentary on how people can grieve but still get new pets. I wasn’t commanding them to grieve this way. Maybe “you gotta” was a poor choice of words.

I never said anywhere that anybody needed to take on another pet. All I said was, essentially, it’s okay to do and people aren’t heartless for doing it.

Aww, that’s adorable too!

I used to do this with my old girl. I would carry her in my arms around the garden and she would indicate by leaning if she wanted to go towards something.

She used to make me spend ages standing under trees with her. I think in her mind we were stalking birds.

What a warm, loving thing to do for your companion. He got to keep some normalcy with the added comfort of being held by his person. Thank you for sharing, that made me happy.

Haha nice!