I guess soon, when you break-up with someone, the state might charge you with killing the idea of the children you might have had.
10 more years and we are at “contraception is murder”
10? Try 1 if Trump gets in.
🎶 every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good 🎶
Can’t wait to tell Republicans how many millions of babies I’ve eaten
You know how I can confidently say that anyone who is against the right to choose hates women?
Because doesn’t matter how much they claim to love children, and how many shenanigans they pull like this one, I know for a fact that not a single one of them would ever in their whole life even entertain the idea of charging a man who masturbated with mass murder.
Yeah but that man only releases HALF-babies by the millions. So that’s the loophole, right?
I hate to break this to you but for some men in these states those sperms will only count as 3/10ths of a baby.
For those that can’t do fractions: That’s 1/2 of 3/5ths.
So if I jerk off on the firehouse steps can I claim I’m just using the Safe Harbor law?
Or paying child support on every single embryo.
Alabama top selling item on Amazon right now:
Dodson! We’ve got Dodson here.
Nobody cares. Nice hat.
Newman!
Nuh uh uh you didn’t day the magic word!
Dennis Nedry!
Thanks for a good laugh in these dark times.
Isn’t it illegal to transport a child to commit a crime? Human trafficking? Kidnapping? What a can of worms. I feel like there’s too much money in fertility treatments for SCOTUS to let this stand.
Well since they don’t have birth certificates I guess they’re undocumented people and that would be bad mmkay.
Embryo camps. Spotlights, very small dogs. We’ll get every last one.
Just send them on a bus to sanctuary cities! Checkmate… Oh, wait, that gives them what they want. We’ve been Uno reverse carded!
They’re my kids so they can live in my freezer
Freezer full of tax deductions
All fun and games until hungover you makes 1 smoothie too many…
Joke’s on you, I’m a recovering alcoholic
Recovering from injury after falling down stairs on your last bemder?
Actively working to take back control of my own life, and developing the tools I need to stay sober.
If you’ve been hurt in a bemder accident you deserve compensation. Contact James Jameson and Co. We will stand up -for you- when you fall down. Call 1800thisisamemefuxyou
This is a travesty. These people are engaging in blatant and obvious child trafficking
I see what you did there
He did the Republican thing that they always do.
You know. Be bad people.
Look here, pal!
I spent the first ten years of my childhood in Alabama living in a freezer! Do you have any idea what that’s like?
No hugs, no toys. A fucking freezer!
For ten years of my childhood!
You think that’s bad? I literally stayed in my dad’s balls for a while.
Swimming in his pee as well‽
Won’t be long until Alabama considers miscarriage to be murder. Wait…that actually is already a thing:
I’m surprised the Alabama legal system isn’t more comfortable with miscarriages. They seem to have had a lot recently
When she arrived at hospital seeking treatment, Poolaw admitted to using illicit drugs while pregnant.
So the ‘crime’ is of causing the death of the foetus through illegal drug use.
It’s not conclusive that the cause was drug use. And that really should not matter anyway. It was a miscarriage.
But wait… that means they can claim them as dependents right?
One would think.
“Yes, I see on your tax forms that you have claimed 1034 dependents, which means that the state actually owes YOU. Here is your big bag of money sir.”
Well considering most people who have them are wealthy, it would fit right in with Republicans wanting to give tax breaks to the rich.
The real question is child support.
Oh man, get the state to pay for the storage costs for your embryos. That’ll put and end to this silly shit STAT.
Tinder in certain states will put up an alert, warning you that if female, by proceeding with the date, you may be liable to carry a child to term, and if male, will need to pre-deposit child support in an escrow account.
That’s why you don’t have sex until you can get a vasectomy
Ooh I like the child support pre-deposit idea. Sounds ominously like taking responsibility for the child you might conceive from your pleasure.
The onion almost got me again.
Wait…
COUPLE ATTEMPTS TO SMUGGLE CHILDREN ACROSS STATE LINES
More at ten
Massive child trafficking ring brought down in Alabama. Governor to receive medal for outstanding achievement in law enforcement as 700 arrests are performed statewide.
If I were in Alabama I’d race to move out of Alabama
I don’t live in Alabama and I am moving out of Alabama just in case
If those embryos count as children, wouldn’t it be OK to ask for all kinds of legal benefits for them?
It’s the most effective way to challenge the law. Just carry it through to its natural conclusion.
“Wow I suddenly have 11 kids to care for. I can’t afford to live. Better apply for snap and tanf.”
Lol, you think there are any social programs left after these chucklefucks are through.
Tax write offs for storage!
Using transit lanes!
Family tax benefits!
Ooh! Divorce and file for child support for dozens of kids!
Adopt thousands of them and then every few days remove one from the freezer or fridge or whatnot and then demand bereavement leave.
Carpool lane with 2 vials in the passenger seat?
Sounds like transporting a minor across state lines
It turns out parents are allowed to take their children over state lines.
Yeah but frozen?
Let it go. Let it go!
I mean, if you thaw them without being ready for them, they die - so yeah, frozen.
Well that’s a potential future news headline that I hadn’t imagined until just now. I can hardly wait to be horrified!
if a woman has a period and has had sex, there is a good chance a fertilized egg was probably somewhere around the blood, making every woman in Alabama who has had sex a possible serial killer
I think you’re a little confused about the normal reproductive cycle.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implantation_(embryology)#Implantation_failure
Reproduction in humans is not very efficient. Only around 30% of natural conceptions result in successful pregnancies. Of the failed pregnancies around 85% are due to implantation failure.
Seems like it’s extremely normal for a fertilized egg to fail to implant and be flushed out during your next period.
what do i have wrong
You have referenced forbidden knowledge. You are not supposed to talk about god doing abortions.
I think you just didn’t word it clearly enough. Someone might read it as a woman getting pregnant from sex during period, which is not what you meant.
Periods are shedding the lining of the uterus and the unfertilised egg.
it is impossible that a fertilized egg can shed? i was under the impression that it may sometimes happen
(It happens frequently. Like more often then it doesn’t huehuehue)
What the fuck is going on with the down votes? Did you kids go to school???
Yes we know what a period is, and it’s common for eggs to be flushed out after falling to implant.
Fun fact, there is quite more to learn about everything after school. School will provide you with rather abbreviated and often simplified version of scientific conses from around 50 years ago.
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Fuck
Mate, are you just so confused with what is happening with the responses here? I’ve literally had an abortion; I’m pro choice. But there’s this random pile on of I’m assuming men, telling us what idiots we are.
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Unfortunately they made embryos children for the purposes of punishments, but let the bill die that would have made them dependents on taxes.
What if we treat that bill as a person, too?
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Well they cant be half children. Theyre either kids or not, Id claim them all and if they audit it, then it FORCES the government to involve themselves and set a precedent. If it’s a life, its certainly dependent on the clinic, claim them. Also if they’re truly considered lives, they are inherently entitled to all the rights the US offers living humans. A state tax bill can’t negate that, only dropping the clasification of being a living being can.
The history of this country proves that we have no issues with the blatant cognitive dissonance of declaring someone to only be a portion of a person.
And now there’s precedent on how that’s not legal. I still think its a worthwile challenge.
Sounds like human trafficking to me!
