When I talk to myself, sometimes I call myself my dead name, or my gender I don’t associate myself with. I am self-aware enough to know I’ve associated myself as male and [name] for thirty-seven years, but it annoys me I haven’t made that connection in my brain somewhere that yes, I’m a girl, my name is Eshe. I feel it in my soul, so why is my brain being such an ass?
It’s been little over a week lol. I kinda know I’m jumping the gun a bit, I just want my brain to get on to the same page that I just wanna be me, dammit.
Have you only been out for a week or chose that name a week ago?
I’ve been out for a week-ish. I chose it a few days ago. Again, I’m self-aware enough to know to give it some time, I guess I was just wondering if it goes away.
Give yourself lots of time. It’s been years for me (slow, gradual process) and I still deadname from time to time. And I’ve learned to go easy on myself when it happens, it’s helped a lot in my case