It’s supposed to help our attachment to each other and mental health to take a break, but we’re gonna miss each other deeply. I was sad before and we were talking so much but I had a PTSD breakdown and now we’re not gonna speak to each other. At least it will be 24 hours sending like one message to each other but I think I’ll cry more.

He wants to take one, and I won’t force him to not do it just because of my selfish desires, but I will miss him and want to know if anyone was in a similar place or knows how to help me “survive”?

I probably need one since I’ve been not mentally well, but I think future me will struggle to take it well due to attachment to him and missing him even when i’m not supposed to talk to him. Plus, everything that reminds me of him will cause me to start sobbing.

  • Crispycrebs@lemmy.worldEnglish
    4·
    13 小时前

    Deep breaths my dear. remember you are a person even when you’re on your own. Your identity and who you are shouldnt be shackled to another person thats not fair on either of you. Go get doing things that you like, things he wouldnt have liked, go be you or try to remember who that person is. Have a phenomenal cathartic cry and move forward, one step at a time. We love you. Everything will be alright.

  • IsThisAnAI@lemmy.worldEnglish
    4·
    14 小时前

    You should talk to a therapist. This attachment isn’t normal. It sounds like you’re smothering him and he’s about to leave.

  • SkyezOpen@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6·
    20 小时前

    I feel like I need more info. He wants to take a break to help attachment, but you seem plenty attached? Maybe he’s feeling smothered and wants some time away? You don’t need to take a break from a relationship to ask for space.

    • relation_anon4238@thelemmy.clubOPEnglish
      4·
      19 小时前

      He wanted to help with feeling less attached and needed more space, and we both were feeling mentally down a lot. My attachment + my mood swings.

      • SkyezOpen@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        3 小时前

        So it sounds like he might feel like you’re leaning on him too much for emotional support. It’s not a bad thing to do overall, but when you completely rely on a single person for your mental health, that’s a huge burden on that person. I think he just needed some time to escape that.

        My suggestion, talk. Ask how it makes him feel, and how you can avoid dumping too much on him in the future. Simply communicating how you each feel will work wonders.

        Additionally, individual therapy would certainly benefit you. It’s not healthy to be so attached to a person that 24 hours of not talking causes anguish.

  • iii@mander.xyzEnglish
    6·
    20 小时前

    Plus, everything that reminds me of him will cause me to start sobbing.

    For me it was fleeing the pain that caused such a constant high state of allertness, and restlessness, and in a self-fulfilling way: pain.

    The solution for me was to sob, and cry, and feel it. All. 🤍

    Don’t need to open the floodgates, but don’t pretend there isn’t enormous pressure on the levies either. Release the pressure, at a comfortable rate.

      • forrgott@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
        3·
        15 小时前

        If the picture a source of negative emotions? Maybe. Or is it a source of comfort? Only you can determine if seeing his picture frequently is helping or hindering you.

      • iii@mander.xyzEnglish
        4·
        19 小时前

        Watch bridget jones. Not a joke 😊. When I was on such a high state of alertness, it made it very difficult to recognize my own emotions.

        Looking at how others do it, helped with self-reflection.

        Put some beautiful flowers or sunset as background image. But more importantly: don’t use the phone, for a while. Put it out of arms reach, in the next room. It’s a bad kind of distraction.

        And yes, I know this is all easy to say, but hard to do. Just think about the next step, not the whole plan. 🤍🌸🩷