This is the type of shit I wish I was creative enough to come up with
No, no you can’t. We turn the oceans into acid and are collectively one torn paper bag away from starting a nuclear war.
Best you can do is containing the amalgamation of insanity called mankind on this planet. Because if we make it off this world, we will probably hunt you down for fun.
You have been warned.
(wontfix)
issue closed
Sterilize it is … pushes button for planetary sterilization radiation beam
Nuke the planet from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
I’ve played too much XCOM to know how this really turns out.
So 95% chance it turns out really really well.
SO WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEE
Humanity would absolutely be the abuser in this toxic relationship
We need the Vulcans.
Please fix me alien mommy
Dat closing double-quote though…
I for one welcome our benevolent and generous alien overlords.
A possibly interesting read would be about aliens who bring a cure for all illness, but unknown to use it also cures people of the need to get ahead of thier fellow human at all costs. Thus they stabilize the human race which then stabilizes the planet…
Something kind of adjacent to this happens in Octavia Butler’s Xenogenesis series. Aliens come over to fix the Earth and humanity, but decide that human nature is part of the problem, and set out to modify it. It’s a really interesting read.
Please, we can’t do it by ourselves (because mega-important money)
We about to fuck up that aliens life.
We already have without even meeting him. He’s been obsessed with Earth for decades. His family has tried to get him committed.
I think by “fix”, they don’t mean repair, but it would help.
“We started years ago with anal probes and now they seem to do it to themselves all the time. Now for Phase 2…”
