• EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website
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    11 months ago

    I don’t get it.

    Why would the cabal, the super influential group secretly controlling all our actions, need a football team to win the superbowl to defeat them, and why would they, in all their Machiavellian wisdom, not have considered the 50% chance event that their football team loses?

    Why would they pick Biden for another term then start WW3? Why not just start it now if that’s what they want and he’s already their puppet? They’ve had 3 years and there’s certainly enough political tinder in the world to start a fire.

    None of this makes any coherent sense.

    • EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website
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      11 months ago

      You know what, I’ve thought about this some more and the reasoning is clear.

      If the 49ers win, they’ll inadvertantly resurrect Harvey Milk, who will kill JFK (who faked his own death and has been lying in wait), who will then be unable to reclaim the last months of his presidency (his term was never officially ended you know) which he planned to use to restore Donald Trump to power. Harvey Milk will then become president and make heterosexuality illegal and force us to live in 15 minute neighborhoods.

      That must be their angle! They win either way!

      • HonkyTonkWoman@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        There’s one key piece you’re missing, Joe Montana is actually resurrected Harvey Milk & has been this whole time.

        This plan began back when Joe was winning Super Bowls, but Steve Young was an unexpected hiccup. The queer stopped spreading as fast when Joe got traded.

        This Superbowl has been chosen specifically because Montana played for both the Chiefs & the 49ers, & because Joe Montana is also Taylor Swift.

        They were going to do it 4 years ago, but Joe was still Arianna Grande back then.

        It’ll all make sense when Andy Reid eats Travis Kelce during halftime.

    • InvaderDJ@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      It’s because so much conspiracy theory requires the conspirators to be simultaneously all powerful but hilariously weak and stupid. And all their plans have to be announced and hinted at through pop culture and in ways that are suspiciously similar to popular movies and TV shows as remembered by people with no media literacy.

      • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        Brilliantly coded reference to Nicki Minaj (“it’s the butt have culture people“), “rapper” and illuminatiarian with 5G cheek implants controlling society via the minds of our youth. Didn’t expect to be so enlightened in this thread.

    • oce 🐆@jlai.lu
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      11 months ago

      Because they need people not to know until all the stars are aligned and then nobody can stop it anymore! Unless some hero changes the course of history by telling everyone and saves the world!

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      $0.02:

      Optimistically: they’re just crazy. Some have access to a louder bullhorn than others, but it’s just garden variety insanity.

      Pessimistically: someone has a huge pile of cash riding on the outcome of the game, and is making a Hail Mary pass of their own to sway the outcome.

    • ZeroTemp@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      This is my response to all conspiracy theories. If this deep state cabal is so powerful, and has access to unlimited resources to achieve their agenda, wouldn’t it be easier to just declare martial law and send the deep state army in to drag us all into the streets, point a gun at our heads and say comply or die? Why the theatrics? Is the deep state the Joker? Why not just shoot Batman in the head and be done with it?