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Yee. “Everyone is a bit autistic” and “autism is an infinite spectrum” really piss me off. Like, I have real symptoms. Trichotillomania and auditory meltdowns and hyperfocus are real things I deal with, people.
In the end, if you don’t share (some or more) symptoms, you don’t share a diagnosis— medical or mental. Autism needs to be understood so autistic people can get support and tools. If that means we need more-specific words than just “autism”, then that’s just how it is.
I think getting rid of the Aspergers label was a big mistake on that part. Yeah he was a nazi eugenicist, blah blah blah, but having a label that both differentiates “people who seem like weird fuckups but are otherwise kind of normal?” from “people who have significant disabilities preventing a normal life” and is widely known was a useful shorthand to have.
Plus “aspie” is a much cuter term than “autist” that hasn’t to my knowledge been used as a slur.
“people who seem like weird fuckups but are otherwise kind of normal?” from “people who have significant disabilities preventing a normal life”
A pretty big issue with this is that the environment has a pretty large capacity to throw you into one category or the other. I’ve been both at the “bright person who exceels in their field and anyone would expect them to have a great future” and “needs someone to look after them on a daily basis or will end up homeless” camps and the difference to get into one or the other was how much abuse and discrimination I was putting up with. It may very well be the case that a significant portion of the people who get labeled as “non-verbal, requires high support” early on in life just had a shit development because their environmental needs weren’t being met.
That is a concern, but it’s still true that you operating at your best will look very different to someone whose autism comes with intellectual delays/impairments and mobility impairments. And the diagnosis is still graded in “levels”, all that has changed is now you have to explain “level one is what they used to call aspergers”.
“You don’t seem autistic to me”
Never sure if people are trying to offer a compliment / comfort or accusing me of lying when they say this. Like, yes, I don’t seem autistic, because when I don’t mask my autism people call me weird. Of course I try to fit in.
“You don’t seem autistic” That’s because I’ve spent my entire goddamn life trying to act and sound like you, because having no meaningful differences is a requirement to being treated with respect in this culture!
Sometimes people say that without being accusing, like they’re just processing the information and learning what it means that autism is a spectrum. But even then, it’s so hard not to be irrationally pissed when I hear that.
For educational purposes what is a more expected/desired response from a nuerotypical person?
“oh, okay.” is generally a good bet, then if the person wants to they can expand on any special needs they have.
Like if someone’s physically disabled you’d be rude to make a big deal out of it, you just acknowledge that it is what it is and try to accommodate for it.
“Oh cool! Are there any particular triggers we should know about, like loud noise?”
Autism and its effects can differ greatly from person to person, such that the ‘rules’ for dealing with one person might not apply to another.
In the context of revealing your autism, many will not do so simply out of hand because of insert response from OP’s post. Usually the only reasons many high functioning autists will even reveal it to someone they do not trust is because they either have to (eg: there is the potential for the presence of a meltdown trigger, reasonable accommodation requests at work) or they’re relating to someone with their own disabilities.
My youngest sibling is severely autistic and when I first learned about autism in my early 20’s I also expected everyone else who had it to be as bad as him. I’ve learned that’s not always the case and there is a lot we still don’t really understand about it overall. Myself especially.
Way too relatable. I’m very hesitant to tell people about my ASD exactly because even if they do believe at me, they always start acting different afterwards. Not even necessarily infantalisation, just different.
I’m just lucky to be high-funtioning enough that I can pass off my social ineptitude as a result of being highly introverted (which is half true), and my tics aren’t very noticible to those who don’t know me very well.
I had this happen with my friend group lol. None of them were surprised. I was.
You need another pair where they don’t give a shit, because guess what?
Frankly being hot seems to be a predictor for autism, i presume because e.g. routine workouts is a significant part of attractiveness and ooh did you say routine?
So autistic people love routines more than neurotypicals? I’ve been called autistic a few times, but I also have no routines, and my life’s a mess, maybe routines would fix everything?
Well, there are also people who are autistic and have ADHD which is super fun because one part of your brain craves routines and the other one can’t stick to them. Don’t ask how I know.
It’s not guaranteed, autistic people just generally tend to like order and routine more.
I have “light” autism and i tend to do things the same way every time, e.g. when eating i cut everything into bite sizes and eat in a specific order, otherwise it just feels wrong.
I personally find exercise fucking amazing, by getting exhausted i can both get stronger and more attractive, AND i get to eat more! holy shit yes please.
I have “light” autism
Diet Autism™
Really gotta be careful with that stuff, so easy to just do more of it because you feel you can get away with it and then it ends up just being the same thing in the end…
Instead of “I’m autistic” say “I was diagnosed with autism”.
These days there’s no shortage of self-diagnosed, no professional opinion needed, thank you very much youngsters walking around and behaving like world owes them a thing, just because they neither do, nor want to fit into the society. This makes neurotypical people doubtful about declarations like that.
For those that did not get a diagnosis as a kid, self-diagnosing is how they begin to discover that component about themselves (I’m newly there right now in my 30’s, parent present in my life didn’t even know what autism was until the 2010’s, I am going to be seeking a professional diagnosis), so I would be mindful that some of the self-diagnoses may be telling the truth and it’s not all fad joiners/charlatans/attention seekers
To your credit, fakers probably would be somewhat obvious, but I don’t have real life experience with a fake autist, mostly the opposite, autists thinking they’re NT.
💀
So let all people who cannot afford a diagnosis go fuck themselves, right?
nor want to fit into the society
The more power to them. This society is disgusting, and it’s people who want society to evolve according to their values the ones who change it for the better, not the ones who go through life bowing their head to injustices.
There’s also no shortage of people who have been on waiting lists for years for a diagnosis.
Mine took almost 4 years between referral and assessment. Two of my friends have been waiting two and four years respectively when both were told the list was “about 18 months long”, with medical professionals asking the latter if they’re sure they want to keep waiting, trying to get them to come off the list. And this is an area that has shorter wait times than average for the country.
When you’re dealing with that kind of scarcity of diagnosis it’s not reasonable to dismiss anyone who has self-identified out of hand. Of course there are and have always been pretenders and misguided teens who want to feel special, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that a lot of those are some kind of neurodivergent and that desire to feel special is born of trying to find a “right fit” in a world that feels wrong.
I have a cousin with autism, he’s in his late 50s and has needed adult supervision his entire life. His parents both just passed and his younger brother now takes care of him. He works buts its the special stuff, bagging groceries, filling nails into boxes, tearing movie tickets. Even had a bit of a savant power with being able to recall the day of the week any particular date was. One Thanksgiving he broke into my grandparents minivan and ate 3 full pies before anyone noticed. They were locked in the van because the previous year he stole them off the counter one by one.
I dated a girl recently that announced she had autism and would just use it as an excuse for her bad behavior. I understand the spectrum and the varying degrees it expresses but she really aggravated me everytime she said it.
