Because you are not good at it
At least let me apply. Or is this some recruit type situation where they meet me in a dark alley and burn off my fingerprints.
Email the CIA. Apply for military intelligence.
Hello CIA,
How’s it going?
Doing alright, how you doing?
5 month old account lmao
We will be in touch.
I think I just shit myself.
… We’ve rescinded our be in touch.
Hey, you’re not CIA - you’re the bald guy from the XCOM council!
You know years ago I heard a recruitment ad for the CIA on the radio, and that caught me a little off guard, I always kind of assumed the CIA personally reached out to specific candidates and hired through shady back channels and such and didn’t really do open recruitment.
I guess it makes sense though, for every James Bond type super spy there’s probably a hundred different random office staff, IT guys, clerks, mailroom guys, secretaries, janitors, accountants, etc. who handle boring day-to-day operational stuff and rarely or never get to see any of the crazy spy craft stuff happening.
And I guess once you land one of those jobs, maybe you can get your foot in the door for eventual promotion to International Man of Mystery.
You’re not supposed to talk about such messages. They’re only for you.
The CIA has an internship program for college grads
I looked into it, and honestly compared to most private sector internships it seemed terrible, one of the alphabet agency internships I looked at was unpaid maybe all of them. And it was the most stereotypical intern stuff. Organizing files and the like.
They recruit from college students studying Chinese, Arabic, Russian…
At my university my whole class was invited to a seminar about how and why to join the Australian secret intelligence service as an intel officer.
If you have the background and get the right head hunter, you can get sponsored for your TS/SCI. I used to work for a place…
I will tell you, however, that working in a SCIF is not as awesome as it looks on TV.
A) Labour is much cheaper in Russia than the US.
B) What foreign languages do you speak relatively fluently?
C) Do those foreign languages match to countries where elections have consequences AND the US has a vested interest in destabilizing them?
D) If the answer to C was yes, really? Where?
OP thinks you should be scrolling on Indeed and see
Do you enjoy shitposting on the internet all day? Join the CIA and you can get paid to shitpost in our many psychological warfare operations. From attacking leftist causes and amplifying corporate shills in political races, to discrediting climate science and the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians in the Middle East, there is no limit to what you could accomplish with the CIA.
Ahaha, that’s great! Only thing missing is a specific list of countries they CIA intends to destabilize.
You can find that list here:
Or this one is pretty useful:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_proven_oil_reserves
Ahaha, I legit laughed pretty hard at that one.
Do you speak Russian, or Chinese? B/c you won’t be very effective doing it in English or high-school level Spanish.
I speak Russian natively, where to enlist? :D
Are you in the military, at least? Because that’s sort of step one. They don’t want the random weed addict who is terminally online. They at least want to know you will follow orders and finish missions through.
…they should really consider taking the weed addicts.
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The US is almost certainly doing it too. I don’t think they’re going to post them on Indeed though.
They are also probably giving the contract to a defense contractor who is turning around and outsourcing it, so there are no US based jobs to troll for the US.
So, to the Russians?
Looks at Infographics Show content from the past 2 years
You don’t need to look to the military either.
Coca-cola experimented with subliminal advertising to see if they could mind control people into buying their products but for some reason we think they wouldn’t stoop to manipulating social media, the Clockwork Orange reprogramming system that we pin our own eyelids open for.
Because they know you’ll do it for free. Source: The Picard Maneuver
You need to join the military and go to this school.
I think OSINT, Open-source intelligence, would be more akin to trolling on social media. They’re the ones who crawl through Instagram and shit to ID Russian soldiers locations when they post selfies and the likes.
Not for the US military but that’s literally political advertising. Have you seen what the Lincoln project does?
You could always join NAFO
Because thats a important position that is probably obfuscated from the general public
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Is that supposed to be German?
Did you have a Stroke? Do you need help?
Wait… You were able to read this and you didn’t die of laughter? Did Monty Pyhton lie to us?
Well they definitely can’t hire you now, this post will have blown your cover
Your cover is now blown too. Boom!
Nice try professional military troll!
Because NIPRNET sucks to do OSINT.
You don’t want to be in the military for anything PSYOPS.
You’d be better off as a contractor.
To be fair, NIPR sucks at everything.
