The whole “bovine” joke was hilarious on one hand and a little horrifying on the other. It got me thinking: how would I feel if an animal I was about to consume came up to me enthusiastically conveying its consent for being eaten? I will be horrified, just like Arthur! But why?
Will it be better to eat against its consent instead? Why?
Then… what about salad’s consent?! Interesting thought experiment…
I am presenting the joke in the form of three extracts from the text:
Extract 1:
"A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox’s table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips. “Good evening,” it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, “I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body?” It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them. Its gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from Arthur and Trillian, a resigned shrug from Ford Prefect and naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox. “Something off the shoulder perhaps?” suggested the animal, “Braised in a white wine sauce?” “Er, your shoulder?” said Arthur in a horrified whisper. "
Extract 2:
“‘You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it?’ whispered Trillian to Ford. ‘Me?’ said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes. ‘I don’t mean anything.’ ‘That’s absolutely horrible,’ exclaimed Arthur, ‘the most revolting thing I’ve ever heard.’ ‘What’s the problem, Earthman?’ said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal’s enormous rump. ‘I just don’t want to eat an animal that’s standing there inviting me to,’ said Arthur, ‘it’s heartless.’ ‘Better than eating an animal that doesn’t want to be eaten,’ said Zaphod. ‘That’s not the point,’ Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. ‘All right,’ he said, ‘maybe it is the point. I don’t care, I’m not going to think about it now. I’ll just . . . er . . .’”
Extract 3:
“I think I’ll just have a green salad,’ he muttered. ‘May I urge you to consider my liver?’ asked the animal. ‘It must be very rich and tender by now, I’ve been force-feeding myself for months.’ ‘A green salad,’ said Arthur emphatically. ‘A green salad?’ said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur. ‘Are you going to tell me,’ said Arthur, ‘that I shouldn’t have green salad?’ ‘Well,’ said the animal, ‘I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am.’ It managed a very slight bow. ‘Glass of water, please,’ said Arthur.”
What makes the whole situation so perverse to me, is that - in my opinion anyway - it’s implied that the cow is in some way genetically engineered to be this way.
That’s explicit, not implied!
it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly
Ah, so did remember that correctly. Must’ve skimmed over that when rereading just now.
Same here. I would say that if the animal is bred to give consent then the consent is not really valid. In any case I would prefer to eat my meat which is not capable of talking to me.
So what you’re saying is you would eat a mime?
To be fair, given the amount of suffering that mimes inflict on the population at large, making a mime suffer in return would probably be considered a good thing.
How marbled is the back strap? Mimes usually seem to be pretty fit, I think they would be mostly chewy.
Lol. I guess eating talking creatures seems uncomfortable because it makes them obviously sentient probably? 🤷
I think it’s so gross because actively consenting to being slaughtered and eaten implies the cow has an S&M and Vore combo deal going on
The cow is a suspiciously wealthy furry going past the point of mere commissioning alone to satisfy its darker urges.
Books who makes you think… Always nice.
Definitely love books that make me think
I just hope Peter Singer doesn’t read the book. He makes us meat-eaters guilty enough.
I don’t think that should be a problem. (I don’t know who is Peter Singer). But if you read through the whole sequence, another interpretation (in my opinion) can be that if you are going to worry about eating living creatures, you would be left with nothing other than water to consume!
You could keep licking salt too!
