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ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

Let lemmyshitpost decide...

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Let lemmyshitpost decide...

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ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
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  • robocall@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I guess cry profusely after sex because I never get any

    • tourist@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Same

      Option may as well have been “lose an eyelash every time you get elected president of Uzbekistan”

    • Mandarbmax@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      During.

      • smotherlove@sh.itjust.works
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        2 years ago

        Jokes on you, I’m into that shit.

    • TheWanderer@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Same! Virgins ASSEMBLE 💪

      😭

      • Slovene@feddit.nl
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        2 years ago

        … at a brothel

  • empireOfLove@lemmy.one
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    2 years ago

    Green

    I can handle being the weird dude that takes super loud shits in public bathrooms. That’ll just make people leave me alone.
    I can’t handle making my girlfriend feel like shit every time we’re intimate. That would be debilitating to our relationship.

    • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      I’d take *red, easy. I’d just explain that it’s just a thing that happens once and I’d be set.

      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 years ago

        also like… many people already live with it lmao

        the absolute state of people’s digestive health

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          2 years ago

          Whoops I meant red. I’d explain the crying thing to my wife once and be done with it.

    • ratz30 @lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Green will quickly result in having no girlfriend though, unless you come up with some scheme to allow you to never poop in the same building as her.

      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        Or you explain it

      • empireOfLove@lemmy.one
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        2 years ago

        I don’t mind a bit of construction work. Wouldn’t be hard to tear down the drywall in the bathroom and pack the stud walls with Rockwool soundproofing insulation. And also swap the door out for a double-thickness solid core sound-deadening door with a sealing sweep. That’s like a couple weekend’s worth of work max.

        Also she is an absolute saint and would probably be fine dealing with it to stay with me.

  • SomeLemmyUser@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 years ago

    So seither i embaress myself everytime i shit or nothing happens?

    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Embarrass? Dominate your dook dome. Yell with a nice, themly yell that says to everyone “that’s a shit that’s gonna take at least one flush”

  • FUCKRedditMods@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Jokes on you, I do both

    • vivadanang@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      that’s my superpower.

  • abracaDavid@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I already scream when I poop. It’s not that big of a deal.

    • Pistcow@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Wife in the other room: Are you ok!?

      Me: Just prayin’

      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 years ago

        ooAAAAAAAAAAA we’re halfway there

        AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

        livin on a prayer

  • ThatOneDudeFromOhio@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Poop scream would be fun.

  • Mr3Sepz@feddit.de
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    2 years ago

    Green.

    There are ways to dampen and quiet down the screaming.
    Since you probably always poop alone, you can use external tools and no one will know.

    So green can with experimenting and time lead to almost no side effects.

  • chaotic_disorganizer@feddit.de
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    2 years ago

    Red

    Added bonus: I’ll never cry.

    • Lowlee Kun@feddit.de
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      2 years ago

      Sometimes i wonder whether people are just joking or if there are really so many sex starved people out there.

      • Anomalous_Llama@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        The absolute state of the people in this thread

      • Slovene@feddit.nl
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        2 years ago

        There’s a lot of us. Extreme shyness and such. Doesn’t matter how cute and handsome you are, if you’re too chickenshit to go talk to the girl smiling at you from across the bar. It’s also difficult to know if she’s really into you, she could just be Canadian. :D And then you have all the incels whom I really don’t understand. But they have a whole subreddit, if you wanna go take a dip in the cesspool.

  • MooseBoys@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Wait, you’re telling me poop screams aren’t normal?

    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      That’s just Tuesday for my cat

  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    I don’t remember clicking those both buttons at the same time … :|

  • FlickeringScreens@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    What if I already do this?

  • DragonTypeWyvern
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    2 years ago

    I choose death

    • Klear@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Happy feast of Winter Veil!

  • Draedron@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 years ago

    So I only need to do one of these anymore? Thats improvement

  • thefloweracidic@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Lol crying during sex can be cathartic

  • Todesschnitzel@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Yes!

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