Hi everyone! This will be a bit long sorry.

First, Thank god for lemmy, I can finally share this. f**k reddit.

So… I’m an extremely introverted person, i don’t have friends irl nor online. I’ve been fighting with ADHD since ever and didn’t even know! I discovered that I have this disorder just a year ago. I knew that i have IBS aka irritable bowel syndrome. I can’t feel hungry becuz of it at all but It makes me very emotional and depressed. Adding ibs to adhd to loneliness is something only people who are dealing with knows how it feels, lately after falling in college and dropping out and feeling that my life is destroyed. My condition worsened, im fought to save myself and I managed to gain a skill and I’m working as freelancer. But loneliness is still there. I try to be patient i try to stop the tears but i can’t take it anymore i cry a lot and i feel sometimes like my chest is crashing. Pls people like me what do you guys do in this situation? Plz help with whatever you know is helpful. I’ll very appreciate it.

  • Tender@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
    2·
    2 days ago

    Thanks for sharing, I used to enjoy loneliness cuz i hate crowds and talking a lot I’m very silent person. But now i feel the urge to be loved or at least important to someone. If I just felt bored or just wanna talk a bit there is no one. So it’s too much to be loneliness. I work a lot to keep myself busy, I love watching horror movies, I read historical novels, I read hundreds of manga panels online daily, I pick some excuse to go to the city (cuz I live in the country side) to walk in a park or just hangout but i still feel lonely even outside the house, walking alone and watching people laughing with their friends or a couple holding each other’s hands while I’m alone like someone lost. with all of this I can’t forget or foul myself all the time, loneliness has become like a demon hunting me all the time. I love cats! I wanna have a pet so bad but I’m still living with my family and they don’t want pets inside the house, specifically my father. So…yeah my situation is extra complicated. But thank you so much again for your comment and advices.

    • underreactingEnglish
      1·
      2 days ago

      Do you have coworkers you can try small talking with?

      People generally like talking about themselves so if you practice asking good follow-up questions you will be able to have long conversations without having to say much yourself. The questions you ask need to be paired with your own enthusiasm though, to make people feel comfortable and confident to keep talking so they don’t feel like they’re boring you. And eventually to form real connections you need to open up as well and share to make the relationship more equal and let them know you. Hopefully you feel more comfortable talking by then.

      Movies, novels, manga, going to the city, walking, people-watching, pets and family are easy topics to connect to others in conversation. Asking someone what they did this weekend or what they do for fun you can probably relate back to some of your own interests, you can mention something about your own preference and then ask follow-up. (-“What did you do this weekend?” -“Laundry, went shopping for presents, bowling, then just relaxed with a movie” -“was it a good movie? What kind of movies do you like?” Or “presents? What are you celebrating?” Or “bowling seems fun, but difficult! Do you go a lot?”). I try to keep small talk to 5-15 min depending on how engaged the other person seems to be, and end it with something positive like “I’d better get back to [work/person/activity], but it was nice talking to you”.

      Perhaps there is a cat shelter in the area that needs volunteers? Even if you can’t bring a cat home you can clean out their habitat, drive them to their homes, wash towels, send out mail, and socialise the cats in the shelter… There’s usually a need for any skill. And you can either do your tasks in silence or try to small talk with other people there.