I’d like to inform you that for shit matters there’s /c/shittyasklemmy@lemmy.ml.

You think someone is shitting outside in a public space and your plan is to surprise them in the act?

Form the annals of what could possibly go wrong.

I don’t know where you live, but I am going to assume it is suburban or rural, is it possible to light the area?

What’s the maximum amount of time you could tolerate hiding in the bushes with spiders & bugs, unsure when/if the serial shitter might ever return? Would you be willing to hunker down in the spider bug cold pokey bushes all night long & all the next day, and on day 3 at 4:42am you finally catch the shitter in the act? Will you have no tent? No sleeping bag? Snacks? Activities to pass time? Do you not have a job & duties to attend to, this wouldn’t interrupt your week at all? Probably much easier to install a camouflaged motion-sensitive camera to capture the shitter. Then what you do? From the footage into the police.

I’ve decided I’m gonna hide in some bushes nearby and catch them doing the deed. But what do I do then?

Back in the good old wild West lawless days I’d say it’d be a great opportunity for vigilante target practice, culling the miscreants from our population. But that’s probably illegal nowadays.

Raccoons like to poop on top of their old dried poop. raccoon poop looks a lot like human poop. especially when more than one animal is using that latrine.

in the forest they often do it where two trails meet.

think about that before jumping out of a bush.

and if it was a raccoon don’t handle that poop please. call animal control.

[edit to add] if you want some nightmares; google ‘pinworm human infection’ and then stay far away from raccoon droppings.

Jump out of the bushes while furiously masturbating. Scream at them to “KEEP GOING I AM ALMOST THERE PINCH OFF THAT HAWT STEAMING LOAF DADDY”. Pretty sure one of two things will happen: Either they freak out, pull up, and high tail it out of there never to be seen again, or they lock eyes with you and maintain that connection through a slight squint and some grunts. Make sure you record it and post this to the internet.

Could be a fox? 🦊

Buy a camera. Catch them in the act. Call police. Have them arrested. Sadly this is the only way to deal with people (assuming it’s a human doing it).

take a bigger shit on their shit. assert your dominance.

In 2 days time on Ask Lemmy:

There’s some creep hiding in bushes in a path which is connected to the gates of my neighbours house. What do I do??

Follow them home and shit in front of their house

Push them backwards into the shit. What you do to them when they are laying on the ground is up to you.

Take a photo with a flash. Call them a sick bastard and walk away.
If it happens again, post the photo on every street light and sign post around the neighborhood.

set up a few video cameras to catch them. Then once you know who it is, send stills and videos to their family. post on social media.

Like everyone else has said, put some cameras out to confirm it’s a human (it’s probably not). If it is a human you may recognise them, and if it’s a cat or something there’s probably some kind of deterrent you can buy.

Bear in mind local laws. Where I live filming people on the public street is a grey area legally, using a hidden camera to do it would probably be considered illegal. Not saying don’t do it, just don’t try and submit it to the police. If it’s a person tell the police you saw them doing it from the window or whatever.

Trail cameras can be quite inexpensive