• Delphia@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    18 hours ago

    Yes and no.

    I dont know your wife or her family so pinch of salt and all. But it sounds like cigarettes are a safety blanket back before marriage, mortgages, dad was alive, kids… they dont judge, they help with stress and they give you an excuse to give yourself a 5 minute break now and then.

    You arent wrong to be upset but empathy and understanding will go further than bitching and guilt. Addicts are the worlds best excuse makers and the “Oh FUCK HIM” impulse is real.

    • Stamets@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      14 hours ago

      They’ve been smoking for 5 years straight with OP openly disapproving of the situation. I’m not seeing the “Yes, you’re the asshole” here. If this was for a brief period then sure. But 5 years is just beyond the pale. Half a decade of someone disapproving of smoking and they haven’t found a single opportunity to quit?