You can call me Elle. I am three years into transition that began 2022. I have a love/hate relationship with being transgender but I become healthier everyday. I am latin mixed, I have the most stubborn fast metabolism. I like wearing cutesy ruffles, sweaters, skirts, tops, and I have 3a curly hair that cascades reaching below my neck. Hm, and what about other purely positive attributes about me? I enjoy spicy snacks, I kill for a quiet setting and peacefulness, when everyone is as is, cannot fail to pleasure me. I want to post about my body, intimacy, journey, and clothes, tips, and answer questions, and have fun on this platform.
Being slim is definitely seen as a quality by some men indicating that a woman is more healthier, when really it can be the exact opposite. There are beautiful women who have calves like a speed-skater, like a DANCER, like a ballerina who could crush and crack the stage beneath her through the bottom of her slippers with elegance and are skinny. Within my range of experience, just very recently a few years ago I was caught in these moods and health problems that took a toll on my happiness, left a scar for quite some time. Throughout childhood I was as energetic as a child can be, I could drink a river and eat all the berries from the bush without feeling hungry. Now, being a sinewy woman with an old soul I can barely handle the symptoms of lower blood circulation, I feel very faint if I stand either quickly or normally to the point I want to rest on the floor. I try to make up my lost energy by eating more meat, walking when the atmosphere does not want to broil me alive, and more habichuelas, more fiber, give me the corn, broccoli, and legumes! Aside from my current body weight, I wouldn’t mind putting on 30 pounds and not having a flat chest, but I only say that because currently being skinny doesn’t work wonders for me.
I mean, how can you not? My papi used to cook them for me many moons ago, and I still very much so think fondly of them. I have been thinking, so often, about how easy it is to be trans and have an eating disorder. I know this sounds awful, but I have been wondering how many parts dysmorphia are linked. As most of the trans people I have dated or befriended have had one. The masc ones tend to have one to keep andro/masc features. Fem tend to have them either linked to pain or control it always seems. I wish I could say there were some magic way to make folks gain weight where they want. I mean, I guess surgery or working out. I meant more so eat some beans, get some boobies! An ex of mine started taking her hormones properly, and because estrogen loves saving calories for a rainy day, she did end up getting a pair. She gained weight as a whole however, and then lamented that because not all the areas she gained them were where bio-gals tended to gain them.
Now on the fainting and what not, are you okay? Are you eating what you need, as often as you do? Can you integrate small and smooth low impact exercises to work on helping build endurance? To be honest with you, while people are pigs about transwomen (mostly, I think they think transmen don’t exist?), they’re seemingly still knocking on their doors for the sessy. I can’t tell you a damn thing about dating. Likewise, that was super pig-headed because the person you look good for first and foremost is yourself! But I see you know that. You good mami, no worries! Just love you for you.
My Honduran mother cannot stop cooking beans every chance she gets! My grandmother loves cooking these easy tortillas de arina, so simple it’s so wholesome. I have been thinking of doing 30 minutes of yoga everyday, I used to watch those tutorials by the channel, ‘Blogilates’, a year ago, didn’t work out since waking up every morning was like seeing if I was dead or alive, though not so tragic the way I put it! I’ve only been 24 days on estradiol, 2mg everyday was recommended. When showering I feel like I’m carrying a traveler’s backpack, that’s when my symptoms enhance tremendously even with the window open and letting the water steam escape the bathroom. I hope it ends soon, I’ve been eating much better after 1-2 years of being ‘vegetarian’, which was more of me not wanting to eat anything out of being depressed. The better I feel each day I live from the small things [ like that song ] the more I love myself. In all, thank you for commenting, I really enjoyed reading yours and appreciated the good you called me!
Right back at you! Very lovely response.
I understand your mom’s madness. You gotta keep the rotation going with beans, or you could run out! Since they’ve gotta soak and what not. The best foods are the simplest, it’s always that way! I’ve got a book that I use most days. It’s got the ugliest cover that ever lived, but I don’t really care about that. I just open the thing, pick the area I want to focus on and go. There is not one pretty thing about the whole process, but it gives me a physical tell which is actionable. I have some cork blocks, but the mat can suck eggs. Anything needing particular padding I use a throw for.
On the big sads, I think that the various internal/external adversities we can face as humans can cause a multitude of issues. To the point where you can solve one, and even if it was the “biggest” one or the one that caused the most pain you’ll find your battle isn’t over yet. While things are hard to find, I swear to you if you can find someone who you can work through these things with it helps a lot. It doesn’t really have to be one person, if you can find a group it can be like…queer magic!
Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Incremental gains and patience are best practices. It helps keep you from getting overwhelmed and being able to manage your time and energy. As someone who goes from 0 to 100, it has been a painful gain but it’s helped so much. GL sis, you’re gunna be fine!