At the age of 34, being extremely socially reclusive, and being autistic myself, I don’t really think I have any chance of getting a relationship. I also have issues with staying attached to neurotypical/non-autistic people, people that drink alcohol regularly (I was raised by an alcoholic grandmother, you probably can put the two together), also I’m disabled in other ways too, etc.
A lot of people often like to say “ace/aro/demi people just too disappointed/have too high standards”. Here I am being so disappointed and probably having way too high standards, yet I still vow for a romantic relationship, and thus often feel lonely from it.
I have BPD to deal with and that makes it even more complicated. In addition to all the same things you mention (reclusive, socially distant/awkward, aversion to drinkers, etc) I also have to deal with becoming too obsessive and burning out on a person even if I like them. I have a tendency to fall in love at first sight and then slowly sour on the relationship and feel trapped. It’s a tightrope and I have no balance. 😩