I’ll start. I’m a 37-year-old woman, and I’ve always been indifferent about having children. I love peace and quiet, but at the same time, I wouldn’t mind having kids if my partner really wanted them.

I’ve been with my husband for 13 years now and married for 11. I’m his second (and final) wife. He has three kids with his first wife. She was supportive of him taking a second wife, with just one request: no more children. That solidified my decision not to have kids.

  • Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    14·
    1 day ago

    I was supposed to be childfree. I have c-ptsd from childhood, like my guardian did prison time for how bad of a parent they were.

    Of course, I had no support from family as a young adult and found myself in a DV situation at 23. He never hit me, but did all the other standard abusive things. I tried leaving him around the three month mark, but it took me 3 years.

    He was hell bent on having a baby. He wouldn’t let me on birth control, nor could I afford it anyway, so we used the oull out method. Until he’d pin me down and just, rape me. My son is my third pregnancy. The first two I was able to discreetly taken care of, by the third pregnancy from this man in a year, I felt guilt, and didnt have the freedom to even go to the doctors on my own. So I kept him.

    Got free for real when my son was 14 months old. I dont deal with his father at all. No child support, once he lost control of me it was apparent he wanted nothing to do with the baby he had to have so badly.

    My son is 12, with severe adhd and odd, mild conduct disorder.

    Ive dedicated my life (giving up my career) to helping my son navigate his emotions and express them in a healthy way so we don’t repeat the patterns of, nearly every male in my and his bloodline. I’m thankful for the behaviorial health field of study.

    Sometimes I feel like my kid’s father still has me trapped, especially on bad days. I wont discuss what regrets I have, we just move forward and do better tomorrow than today.

    I sure as fuck am not abandoning my kid to the wolves as my family did to me. I wanted to break the cycle the easy way and just not habe kids, instead, I’m doing it the hard way and idk. Im doing it. I love my kid, hes a good kid.