“He was like a dildo in a lightbulb store: wasn’t the brightest, but never failed to please his teacher.”
My two favorite malaphors:
- It’s not rocket surgery.
- We will burn that bridge when we get to it.
I use those both regularly. And people seem totally unable to tell whether I am doing it on purpose.
That’s all water under the fridge at this point.
Not sure what’s the idiom with “fridge” in it.
There isn’t one, it’s a malaphor imposter!
Malaphor, my new favorite word Also: “she looks like she’s been through the run of the mill”
“He looks like he fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down.”
I prefer, due to my white trash rural roots:
“That dog won’t hunt.”
I don’t have a don’t in this don’t.
This is the true evolution
I don’t have a dog in this horse.
I don’t have a race in this fight.
“I don’t fight in other people’s races.”
Implies that my fighting is done strictly at my own behest:-).
“Shit or get out of the kitchen” is my current favorite malaphor.
I use “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it” pretty frequently myself
“not the sharpest knife in the cookie jar”
Sure. It ain’t rocket surgery.
“I don’t have a hot dog in this bun” - me to the Costco worker.
"Whatever guy, it’s like $2 and I know you just swallowed the whole damn thing, but here, sure, I’ll give you another one while you hold your bag with 5 pounds of hot pockets and a 3L bottle of Johnny Walker blue. "
-the Costco worker
I’m not a native English speaker, but in my experience “I don’t have a horse in this race” seems more common.
I’m a native, and I’d agree. But it’s a funny post so, I’ll ignore that.
IMO, “dog in this fight” is more common where Ive lived: Appalachia, mid-Atlantic, Midwest. I wouldn’t be surprised if it also varies by region, class, etc.
"I’m not the sharpest crayon in the basket. "
“Does the pope shit in the woods?”
“I don’t have a horse in this dog”: incoherent, fanciful, drunk
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
“I dont have a horse in this fight” makes sense if context is Calvary charge. I dk im drunk.
And a dog in this race for greyhound racing
“I don’t have a race-fight in this horse-dog” : questionable morals; supernatural or sci-fi undertones; a good chance for double-takes, perhaps even the odd triple-take
I don’t have a race-fight in this hot-dog
“I don’t have a sea slug in this drive by.” Conjures images of underwater sea violence and muddies your message.
Grim? Tell spanish people: “I don’t have a candle in this burial.”
