my prostate would switch to happy mode and probably wouldn’t be able to pee
It’s difficult but not impossible
Hard Mode
The competition is stiff.
You woodn’t think it’s possible
But urine it to win it
You can cheat by doing it right after ejaculation.
As long as you can maintain a steady stream of ejaculate, it’ll feel the same for her.
Aloud.
Maybe she should try more quietly.
It never stops being scary seeing adult and married people unable to do things you expect children to get right.
I dont understand how you dont question a jpeg. A child made this meme. It did not happen.
Now if it were a png, thats a good source. Theres a lot more transparency.
This comment made me remove both my femurs.
When you hear a real knee slapper and your aim is slightly off.
I kinda wanna cut off my thighs too after reading that
the children yearn for the mememines
Ehhhh, I dawnt reely no if it matters to much. Wut reely matters is that a purson can bee under stood. Thats the point of langwege.
I no a man hoo rites like this and calls PayPal pay pow, but he is a numbers jeenyus hoo duz complex calculashins n his hed like yoo hav nevur seen.
He can’t spell his damn name to save his life, but he’s a genius in ways that constantly blow me away. He draws complex diagrams by hand of every system he builds by hand. If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes. He has no real education either. I can’t imagine what kind of powerhouse he could be if he’d ever been afforded a chance to really learn.
I’d trade my abilities with written language for his skills any day.
I read your first paragraph before giving up. You can’t be understood if people give up communicating with you entirely.
You’re better than me. I didn’t even make it through the first sentence before I collapsed the comment and moved on lol.
Good for your. Pat yourself on the back and feed your ego.
They need to eat, after all.
Well, that’s on you. You’re allowing yourself to be upset over such a small thing and missing (I feel) a very valuable point.
That’s your ego, like it or not.
Why did I read that first paragraph in Canadian accent
If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes
That’s not the virtue you think it is.
Eh, he’s a millionaire. Must be something to it. He’s 68 now and has started selling his stuff off. The new owners have been calling me for months because I’m the only person who knows how to deal with it other than him.
He truly is a genius. Like anyone else, he has his flaws, but I’m telling you, he’s brilliant and his work is brilliant.
In all of the years he has ran his businesses he never called an outsider in. He learned to program machines that people are paid hundreds of dollars an hour to program and repair despite being functionally illiterate. I’d say there’s virtue in his work.
On top of all of that, has taken care of his employees. He isn’t perfect, but if someone works for him and their car breaks down, it gets repaired on his account. If it can’t be repaired, he goes to a car auction and buys them a car on his own time after inspecting it from top to bottom to make sure it’s good enough.
I’ve had my problems with him AND his work over the years, but overall I definitely think that his skill is the virtue that I think it is. I envy him, in a positive way.
I thought they used audio recognition or something
Yeah, that made my brain short out for a second. :p
Still a better love story than twilight.
It’s an older meme sir, but it checks out.
The fuck is with these influx of censored memes? Is it to avoid some tik tok filter or some shit? I am just assuming since so many of this crap is recycled tik tok memes.
I will down vote each and every one of them, I know it won’t do anything but fuck it
Can’t even say dingle anymore without being banned from Insta. Ducks sake.
i wouldn’t know. I’ve never used instagram in my life lol.
I don’t know if that’s true either. I don’t tend to interact with other people on Instagram when I do use it. I was just making banter
As in Quandale Dingle or what?
This site isn’t Instagram.
No it is not. Instagram may be why the meme is censored, I wouldn’t know since that isn’t where I found it.
I installed it like a year ago out of boredom. And it wouldn’t let me make a new account unless the app could sync all my contacts.
So I uninstalled it and haven’t looked back.
Reasonable. I’ve had my account for years upon years. I mostly use it to keep in touch with friends and family. Have never let it sync my contacts though.
I kinda figured it was a newer addition to the sign up reqs. I asked a few friends and none of them had to do that.
Probably. I recently tried to create a Facebook account for the marketplace and was banned after creation for impersonation. That was after I did what they wanted to confirm my identity. Now my partner has to handle my dealings. Lol
Is it really that big a deal? People are finding them elsewhere and they’re pre-censored when they find them.
Does it matter when it’s funny?
Cuck behavior. You, not the censorship.
Use your imagination bish.
Calling someone a cuck makes me think you’re a loser.
Ahem, memememememeeeeee
/clears throat
You Sir, are also a Cuck.
that’s what someone that got called a cuck would say
I like how they censor the “C” in dick so it’s just “DIK”
I found that funnier than the whole rest of it lol
dik was an animation studio once upon a time
I instantly heard it. DEEK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05hTBAOnDQE Relevant cyanide and happiness
My friend had this little electronic twenty questions game. You would think of any object, animal, whatever and it would guess it very accurately. If your word was penis it would figure it out and guess dik-dik. That shit was hilarious to me.
deleted by creator
pissing all by yourself, handsome?
Not anymore.
Wrong community, this is shitposting, you want pissposting. Maybe even vintagepissposting…
You’re free to repost to pisspost this shitpost
aloud
That’s quite the sound
Nonono, peeing is when stuff comes out. Sounding is when stuff goes in. Easy mistake to make.
I’d probably try outside if I was going to let a woman try to hold it and aim, otherwise they’re gonna miss from just piss-poor aim or I’d start getting hard and that would make it even harder to aim.
Yeah the shower is a much easier solution
Golden? Only if they’re into that kind thing
No I mean take a regular shower and let her stand behind you and hold your wee wee while you pee pee.
… Didn’t think I needed to spell it out.
🛁
A great shitpost about pee … beautifully done … now I gotta go pee … by myself … with no one holding my pee pee … so they don’t do a helicopter while I pee
You can hold it and copter yourself
Coptering a feel
Tried this once, wife’s aim was terrible. Was years ago, may try again at some point XD
To be fair to your wife, we have been practicing with it since we were toddlers.
And she’s only getting half of the controls with no coordination between the two. She doesn’t know how strong of a stream you’re giving her and you can’t adjust it based on where she plans to point your dick.
You’re quite the piss scientist I see!
Standing to pee is a learned skill. Trans guys who buy a stand to pee device are all recommended to practice in the shower first.
It certainly is! That’s really interesting. I didn’t even consider how transitioning changes the way one would use the toilet. I can totally see needing to practice in the shower with the device.
I can definitely see why it would be harder than the real thing. Also didn’t know that existed, link (NSFW) pretty cool.
Are you just supposed to carry that around with you everywhere? Do you wash it in the sink after every use? If I were a trans man I think I would just use a stall.
Most of us just use a stall and don’t bother with a STP. But the shake it off and stick it back in your underwear move is the move with these things, and it’s about as gross as when the cis guys do it, lol.
Oh for sure. I was not expecting bullseye aim I’m able to get, but I wasn’t expecting it to be several feet off course lol.
As an aside to other replies in this, it very much is a learned skill. Having potty trained my son, it’s a skill very taken for granted. I think most men are able to piss in the dark without making any or very little mess. Especially in their own home(house layout familiarity akin to a blind person).
Reminds me of the almighty Hippopotamus doing the helicopter with his tail while taking a dump. Shit hits the fan. Shits supergreen too. When I see a pond full of algae I am careful, hippo might be closeby…
And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you’re being, it’s not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!! You don’t fuck with hippos, you don’t fuck with moose, and you don’t fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it’s it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
“If it’s a hippo, fuck you!”
Luckily we only have the tardigrades where I am from, those microscopic bears.
Damn are you living in Earth’s upper atmosphere?
I feel like the plural of moose should be meese. Such an inconsistent language…
You should not go swimming in waters with a algae bloom anyways. Hippo or no hippo.
My wife asked for this. Lol
I’ve definitely let my wife write her name.
I’m going for a piss
Oh yeah, want some help with that?
She is a keeper
I don’t like giving myself golden showers
And i can respect that (i think)
