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seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.socialM to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 11 个月前

‘The Onion’ Officially Endorses Joe Biden For President

theonion.com

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‘The Onion’ Officially Endorses Joe Biden For President

theonion.com

seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.socialM to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 11 个月前
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Throughout its venerable 268-year reign, The Onion has always made it a top priority to endorse the correct presidential candidates. From George Washington to Richard Nixon to Donald Trump, this institution’s highly respected editorial board has had its finger on the pulse, and has accurately backed the winner of every single national election in this country’s long […]
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  • JoYo@lemmy.ml
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    11 个月前

    The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

  • Moops@fedia.io
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    deleted by creator

    • UFO64@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.

    • Late2TheParty@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha

      • BigFatNips@sh.itjust.works
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        11 个月前

        Hahq tuah

    • m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      11 个月前

      I want people to send this to him now!

  • lobut@lemmy.ca
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    11 个月前

    But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

    I love it.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      11 个月前

      Finally someone said it. I’m tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

      • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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        11 个月前

        Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!

      • DokPsy@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        Calm down Canada.

      • CptEnder@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        /c/NCD leaking

  • TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml
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    11 个月前

    Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

    They really aren’t pulling their punches!

    • elucubra@sopuli.xyz
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      11 个月前

      The whole thing is brilliant. The Onion has been on fire lately.

      • takeda@lemm.ee
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        8 个月前

        The ownership changed in April this year and apparently staff was given more freedom what they can write.

  • hopesdead@startrek.website
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    11 个月前

    I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
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      11 个月前

      Its a reoccurring gag.

      • hopesdead@startrek.website
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        11 个月前

        I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

        • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
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          11 个月前

          There’s some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

        • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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          11 个月前

          I need to wake up. I went to sleep drunk, I woke up feeling still drunk.

          I read your username as “DopeSalad”

          Thats not even CLOSE!

          • hopesdead@startrek.website
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            11 个月前

            Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious anyways. There is a band named Hopesfall. I thought it was dumb so I came up with that.

        • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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          11 个月前

          They’re now in newspaper format again, if that helps!

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        11 个月前

        Sure. Just a joke.

    • affiliate@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

      • nexguy@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        That’s only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

      • takeda@lemm.ee
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        8 个月前

        Well don’t underestimate the reach of Global Tetrahedron.

        Cover from January 2001: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion#/media/File:The_Onion,_January_18-24,_2001.jpg

  • expatriado@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

    • 0ops@lemm.ee
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      11 个月前

      It took me like 15 😭

  • BigMacHole@lemm.ee
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    11 个月前

    I’m a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn’t running STUPIDS!

  • Wahots@pawb.social
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    11 个月前

    Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in.

    We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

    • frezik@midwest.social
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      11 个月前

      The Onion wanted to play on hard mode. How do you write satire when that shit head was in the White House?

  • Dadifer@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    Ted Kazinski?

    • InverseParallax@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      You might know him for his academic papers.

      • atocci@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        Among other works

      • motor_spirit@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        you joke but this is how he’s brightly discussed in some circles lol I have seen some concerning publications that refer to him as uncle Ted and other light-hearted names in a similar context

        • XeroxCool@lemmy.world
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          11 个月前

          Seems like it’s up there with the killdozer Fandom. Casual terrorism… Or living the American dream?

          • desktop_user [they/them] @lemmy.blahaj.zoneBanned
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            11 个月前

            terrorism is the American dream, why else would we worship 9/11 and sadam husane?

      • DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        And his cake having tendancies

    • kboy101222@sh.itjust.works
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      11 个月前

      Yeah, the mathematician. What about him?

      !it’s a running gag for the onion!<

      • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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        11 个月前
        Tap for spoiler

        Hmm

        I used:

        ::: spoiler Tap for spoiler
        hidden content
        :::
        
        • kboy101222@sh.itjust.works
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          11 个月前

          That’s what I used and it works on my app

          Whatever you’re using seems to take the > as a comment immediately

          • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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            11 个月前

            I’m using Voyager iOS, but checked this out from a browser.

            Looks like this method:

            >! spoiler !<
            

            doesn’t work on our (yours & my) instance, nor Midwest Social:

            Interesting that Join-Lemmy.org advocates for the format I previously showed in a code block:

            yet your client supports the “greater than exclamation point” method. It makes me wonder whether your client should support it.

            (Lots of folks like that method though per Lemmy GitHub!)

            Which client you using? I’ll share this comment with them.

            • GreenAppleTree@lemmy.world
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              11 个月前

              That was the Reddit spoiler tag, so I’m guessing they’re using one of the ex-reddit clients that pivoted to Lemmy during the great migration.

              Either Sync, Boost, Eternity, or… the other one I couldn’t remember the name of.

    • sunzu2@thebrainbin.orgBanned from community
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      Removed by mod

  • WrenFeather@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

  • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
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    11 个月前

    I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

    • Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      Naw, they’re rooting for Eisenhower.

    • InverseParallax@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      He’s all the buzz on AIM right now.

  • Alsephina@lemmy.ml
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    11 个月前

    Hell yeah I’m writing him in

  • ...m...@ttrpg.network
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    deleted by creator

  • Reddit is better.@dormi.zone
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    deleted by creator

    • octopus_ink@lemmy.ml
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      11 个月前

      You’ve clearly not been following their Israel/Gaza headlines. They’ve absolutely been on fire.

      • Reddit is better.@dormi.zone
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        Removed by mod

    • The Pantser@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      You would be too since reality is more satirical than anyone can imagine.

      • Reddit is better.@dormi.zone
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        Removed by mod

    • Aatube@kbin.melroy.org
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      Have you read the article?

      • Reddit is better.@dormi.zone
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        I was told there would be no fact checking

        also fuck the mods

        • Late2TheParty@lemmy.world
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          FFS, homie! You made me spit out some expensive booze! 😁

  • No_Support_8363@lemm.ee
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    This better be satire

    • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      “‘The Onion’” is literally in the headline.

    • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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      Never heard of the Onion before?

      Edit. Oh Jesus, I looked at their comments. Insane nut job mascot.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        Oh jeez I wished I didn’t look. Definitely just an account that only gets downvotes.

        • No_Support_8363@lemm.ee
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          11 个月前

          By leftists

    • breakingcups@lemmy.world
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      No, but you sound like you might be. A Trump supporter blatantly incapable of absorbing the information right in front of him. Typical.

      • No_Support_8363@lemm.ee
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        11 个月前

        I am a Trump supporter, and no I am not incapable of absorbing the information in front of me, you saying typical is stereotyping, arent you lefties supposed to discourage that in your magical crusade to be all inclusive? Fucking pansy

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      Why would you insult America’s Finest News Source?

      • No_Support_8363@lemm.ee
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        Its not America’s finest, X is currently actually the number one news source in the states

        • Captainvaqina@sh.itjust.works
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          🤣🤣🤣🤣

          Fucking mush for brains.

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