Anti-natalism is a toxic, doomer philosophy. And I wish this post went into more detail on how we can rebuild communal child-care networks.
I’m currently trying to procreate but due to fertility issues I find myself behind the rest of my friends who have all disappeared into atomized, suburban lives. So I’ve been thinking a lot about how to avoid this fate. If anyone has insights please share.
There’s always the “cool aunt/uncle/friend with no children who’s always available to babysit” option. Communal child rearing generally starts with extended family - those without minor children pitch in to help the adults with minor children - and you don’t need kids of your own to help out that way.
But you do kind of need a trusting relationship with those adults first, so they’ll be willing to trust you with their kids, and it’s hard to build those relationships from scratch, or rebuild them with family members if you’ve lost that trust already.
This is the issue I have with the article—it recognizes the problem but it doesn’t go far enough.
Having an uncle babysit once a month is barely different from the failed nuclear family model. I’m trying to find or build child-care that is truly communal.
I think it’s quite literally supposed the be the village. We lived in smaller groups for most of history and would have known all of our neighbours. They’d be our friends and family. You don’t need to get babysitters because the kids just run around outside all day and whatever adult is around and free would supervise them.
We kind of have this going on where I live. I’m on a dead-end street and the kids all play outside together and there’s usually at least one adult outside keeping an eye on them. I’m way too shy unfortunately but the other parents have made friends with each other and they take turns taking their kids out for activities and having sleepovers.
Anti-natalism is a toxic, doomer philosophy. And I wish this post went into more detail on how we can rebuild communal child-care networks.
I’m currently trying to procreate but due to fertility issues I find myself behind the rest of my friends who have all disappeared into atomized, suburban lives. So I’ve been thinking a lot about how to avoid this fate. If anyone has insights please share.
There’s always the “cool aunt/uncle/friend with no children who’s always available to babysit” option. Communal child rearing generally starts with extended family - those without minor children pitch in to help the adults with minor children - and you don’t need kids of your own to help out that way.
But you do kind of need a trusting relationship with those adults first, so they’ll be willing to trust you with their kids, and it’s hard to build those relationships from scratch, or rebuild them with family members if you’ve lost that trust already.
This is the issue I have with the article—it recognizes the problem but it doesn’t go far enough.
Having an uncle babysit once a month is barely different from the failed nuclear family model. I’m trying to find or build child-care that is truly communal.
You might look up cohousing.
I think it’s quite literally supposed the be the village. We lived in smaller groups for most of history and would have known all of our neighbours. They’d be our friends and family. You don’t need to get babysitters because the kids just run around outside all day and whatever adult is around and free would supervise them.
We kind of have this going on where I live. I’m on a dead-end street and the kids all play outside together and there’s usually at least one adult outside keeping an eye on them. I’m way too shy unfortunately but the other parents have made friends with each other and they take turns taking their kids out for activities and having sleepovers.
I hate to recommend it, but facebook has some groups for finding commune-minded people. “Intentional community” would be a good search term