It’s frustrating being the guy pulling his hair out freaking out over things. When people look at you they see a tin foil hat man, but you know how it works.
A few tips to better avoid the tinfoil hat-similarities:
Break up your text into more easily digested paragraphs. One chunk of text like this just seems rambling regardless of how poignant it might be.
Stick to one topic, or make the transition from one topic to another make sense. Going from spying cars, to a whole country collecting DNA through pee samples, to corporations are gangs, to fascist world order, to intelligence agencies collect child porn, to not wanting subscriptions in tech, while sprinkling in the Wizard of Oz at random times (in a more thought-out text it could be a powerful comparison to explain the issue or tie in to a red thread, but not just by mentioning the name and moving on)… It gets quite similar to the speech patterns of someone with untreated schizophrenia.
Clarify why you are making a claim. For example the one about intelligence agencies having lots of child porn: Is it a good or a bad thing? Why do they have it? And how does it relate to the topic of seniors issues with tech, or mass surveillance through phones?
Share your sources, especially for the lesser known claims. Put the relevant links at the end of each paragraph so it’s clear what each link refers to and it’s address.
A few tips to better avoid the tinfoil hat-similarities:
Break up your text into more easily digested paragraphs. One chunk of text like this just seems rambling regardless of how poignant it might be.
Stick to one topic, or make the transition from one topic to another make sense. Going from spying cars, to a whole country collecting DNA through pee samples, to corporations are gangs, to fascist world order, to intelligence agencies collect child porn, to not wanting subscriptions in tech, while sprinkling in the Wizard of Oz at random times (in a more thought-out text it could be a powerful comparison to explain the issue or tie in to a red thread, but not just by mentioning the name and moving on)… It gets quite similar to the speech patterns of someone with untreated schizophrenia.
Clarify why you are making a claim. For example the one about intelligence agencies having lots of child porn: Is it a good or a bad thing? Why do they have it? And how does it relate to the topic of seniors issues with tech, or mass surveillance through phones?
Share your sources, especially for the lesser known claims. Put the relevant links at the end of each paragraph so it’s clear what each link refers to and it’s address.