I just steal my husband’s for the outer pair.

…I’ve actually tried to do this at night when I’m not thinking

Yeah, my first thought was how on brand doing this was for audhd, but it’s way more useful than my fucking tracker for flavor proportions for gummies (why do I care? No idea, but I do)

Yes, this is the joke

You gotta mean it and Dumbledore was clearly too calm for that

I like to double up on inside crocs and socks

I can imagine this leading to a meltdown for some inexperienced gas pumper who’s already very frazzled by the controls.

I’ve been having that thought about Epstein the whole time. He looks like if bourdain looked up to Henry Kissinger

I can’t think about anything until I blow my nose

I ate the onion hard

The same way l8r means later. It’s the letter y with a t sound at the end

Well…….not safely and legally, at least.

That’s what I thought until I started working at a German bakery. Now I’m converted (as someone who isn’t from here and grew up with fresh home baked sourdough every day). You should try more of it.

Yeah, but Italian bread and German bread…

Germans make pasta too, but I’m not talking about maultaschen here

I always think of this song in connection with young folks, both very good road trip songs

That’ll go over well

Alternative and least dark theory: Calvin’s too short to see out his bedroom window and his parents don’t realize he knows that it’s snowing already. They’re worried about how hyper he’ll get

It’s honestly bizarre how hands on he is. Doesn’t he have anything better to do? Don’t answer, I know he victimizes protesters for fun and he’s clearly not interested in paperwork

It’s spelled Pretti

So the United States, once the world’s exemplary liberal democracy, is now a hybrid state combining a fascist leader and a liberal Constitution; but no, it has not fallen to fascism. And it will not.

Well that’s alright then. I almost thought the Atlantic was becoming less useless for a second there

I guess you’re not into bread, because Germans have incredible bread