The standard advice is that you shouldn’t try to just create a triad (or quad), but instead each date separately. Sometimes triads form organically as a result of this (for example, if you and your metamour develop feelings for each other), but trying to force them is a recipe for disaster, and also comes with the ethical concerns that you mentioned.

Since you mention yourself being the one that’s primarily poly, it may also be good to let your partner “go first” with dating people, to try to head off feelings of insecurity. Those can still happen, but it’s better if the more reluctant partner can dip into poly at their own pace, instead of feeling rushed into it.

Another highly specific meme community to add to my list, along with !linuxanimemes@ani.social

No defense, then? Lemmy is just intended as a delivery vector for shitty politics, shackled to the rotting corpse of the USSR?

ActivityPub votes are public by design, Lemmy just hides the voters from users, while Mbin displays them. Anyone can also spin up their own instance and get access to the data.

PieFed recently added a feature to pseudonymize votes. When enabled, your votes are labeled with the name of a shadow account linked to yours, but only the administrators of your instance know that it belongs to you.

Obligatory ProZD

Fair enough, I hadn’t been keeping track of their pace of development. Doesn’t look super active.

I’m operating under the assumption that for a while the bulk of new user growth will happen on the existing larger instances, which are all running Lemmy, rather than Piefed or Mbin instances growing faster than them. I think that’ll remain true even once Piefed and Mbin are more featureful than Lemmy, unless the gap is really significant.

If that turns out to be true, then for Lemmy to no longer be the dominant software, the existing big instances would need to switch, which wouldn’t be a trivial task. Piefed or Mbin could add the ability to migrate an existing Lemmy database, but I assume that it would be overall easier and less risky for them to move to a Lemmy clone than to a different system.

You walking away would be a net benefit at this point.

It’s not that obvious.

At the very least, we’re at the point where the counterargument to mine is merely damning with faint praise.

I haven’t tried Mbin, and as a Piefed user I agree that it’s not there yet. I’m not suggesting that they should replace Lemmy as the backbone software of the threadiverse. However, Lemmy will continue to run in the absence of active development.

I expect Sublinks to eventually overtake Lemmy since it’s being designed as a drop-in replacement, in a language better suited to web development than Rust. The dev team also aren’t pathological authoritarians, as far as I know. If development on Lemmy were to stop, the threadiverse community’s attention and resources would significantly shift towards Sublinks, which would benefit us all in the long run.

I’m not saying that the work you’ve previously done should be undone. Ideally you would abandon your shitty politics instead of your development work, but I assume that’s out of the question.

From the perspective of those trying to advocate for people to actually use lemmy, the instances that you run, lemmy.ml and lemmygrad, are a serious problem. Together with hexbear, they’re the “missing stairs” of the threadiverse. We’re constantly having to tell people “Yeah, it’s understandable that you don’t want to associate with tankies, but it’s really not so bad if you just block those three instances, and don’t mind that two of them are run by the lead developers of lemmy”. You walking away would be a net benefit at this point.

Ah yes, I sure am making any effort whatsoever to conceal my identity? Weird dodge there, guy.

At this point even someone as ideologically blinded as you should be able to see that the presence of you and your tankie friends is a liability to the project. Why do you think OP is looking to avoid a “lemmy.ml type of situation”?

Wait, when have I ever denied any genocide?

I don’t have receipts handy for that right now, though the company you keep does say something about you.

I do have you on your weird transphobic conspiracy theory, though.

We are, surprisingly enough, not very unified on that point. I used to be a non-voter, annoyed at the anarchists that would harangue me to vote. Now I’m a grudging voter, annoyed at the anarchists that harangue me *not* to vote. xD

Both then and now, I maintain that anarchists should either vote or not, and then shut the hell up about it. The whole argument is just a lot of pointless bikeshedding about the most marginal effects.

I think there’s a lot more agreement among anarchists that we shouldn’t get involved in or donate to electoral campaigns. We have better things to do with our time and resources.

Generally speaking, anarchy isn’t some lost golden age that anarchists want to return to, it’s something new that we want to create. Both past and present societies have anarchistic elements that we can draw inspiration from, but none of those societies really live up to our ideals.

There are some that characterize anarchism as equivalent to direct democracy. I disagree with that, but I do think it can be categorized as a further evolution of democracy. Autonomous democracy, if you will. It retains the idea that everyone is equal and that we don’t need monarchs to govern us. However, where democracy sets up a centralized apparatus for majoritarian, society-wide rule-making and enforcement, in anarchy the rules are created and applied in a decentralized fashion where they are needed, by mutual agreement.

Politics, activism, and social commentary, maybe? Could be a drama magnet, but it does seem to be a sizable chunk of the threadiverse.

Perhaps I’ve misinterpreted your usage of “last line of defense”?

These aren’t regular conservatives that we’re dealing with. MAGA is a fascist movement. The MO of fascists is to gain and hold power for their in-group by *any means necessary*. While it should never be our first option, we need to be willing and able to violently resist them, because they sure as hell don’t have any qualms about violently subjugating us.

Interesting, this is the first I’ve heard of the “reputation rehab” angle on the guy. Do you have any further reading you could link me to?

Rather than going full Inglorious Basterds, I think it’s important to have both “carrot” and “stick” options for these people. It doesn’t really do us any good if there’s no way to come back from having been involved in hate groups. Just make sure to keep the Richard Spencer treatment available, to provide them some motivation to get their heads right.

public shaming is the last line of defense we have against these types of people

Wait, really? I know liberals tend to like weird pseudo-pacifism, but have y’all really committed so hard to it that you think “public shaming” is our last line of defense?

Get armed, and get trained. You may end up needing it. *We* may end up needing it.

It’s their second favorite thing, right after vegan cat food!

Yup, that’s why I’m a Mutualist.

Dozens of us.jpg

I read it as being about pegging.

db0, I think you’re cool overall, but your characterization of PugJesus here is pretty unreasonable. :/