

What you just experienced is cultural sexism. It’s extremely common in many cultures around the world.
Holy shit so much this. It’s fucking bullshit and batshit insane in modern times.
My brother-in-law’s mother is one of these kinds of people, and very much treats her two grandsons like they’re divinity, and 6 granddaughters like they’re his slaves.
My wife and I live next to them and since I don’t like interacting with their family, it took me awhile to notice.
Oldest son gets preferential treatment on everything, gets expensive shit for every present giving holiday, and even the way she talks to him is like she’s afraid she will upset him and is afraid he’s not being treated the way she thinks he deserves.
Youngest son gets next preference, but is mentally around 2 or 3 so she doesn’t do much besides treat him like a royal baby. Like 0-6month old baby.
All the daughters get cheap dolls or makeup for holidays. They are expected to be seen and not heard when she’s there. Anything that needs done they are expected to do even if it’s something the adult watching them should be handling.
A couple weeks ago I was talking to the oldest daughter about her art class when the oldest son started yelling about how he was thirsty.
Grandma comes over and starts interrupting the conversation asking why she’s not going to get him some water.
I just interrupted her with a “we are in the middle of a conversation. Just be cause YOUR idea of respect is extremely warped doesn’t mean the rest of us have to tolerate it. He’s 12, he can get his own damn glass of water. If you don’t like that, get it yourself, but you WILL NOT interrupt us again unless you want to find out just how disrespectful my wife and I can be.”
I don’t know what she said in response because I was making an effort to ignore her and say something about the art class.
I did end up sending a message to their parents about the encounter with an" if that’s a problem for you guys then we can work out another deal for childcare." vague threat about us no longer providing childcare multiple times a week.
Am I disrespectful? Maybe. Probably. But I’ll be dead and buried before I let someone tell a young girl she’s supposed to drop everything because a MAN is there.
I’m also not welcome at my wife’s grandparents house because when her grandfather straight up said “be quiet, the men are talking.” when she said something during a holiday visit, I told him “what makes you think you can talk to my wife like that?” “well my religion says…” “FUCK your religion, you don’t speak to anyone like that.”
My wife says I shouldn’t have said anything because now she feels like it’s her fault her family doesn’t like me. No amount of reassurance that it’s their own fault helps. I stand by it.
Um… Sorry for rambling, this kind of thing makes me angry and I have to deal with it all the time, and I can’t even imagine what it would feel like for all the women who have to deal with it.
Doesn’t disagree enough to refuse money, apparently.