Who is she going to call when they close that office and fire all the staff?

If the company you work for is bought by Alpine Investments, get a lawyer. Especially if you’re a woman or expect severance when they ditch you.

“Trade in” like theres a dealership willing to give you some kind of fair value for your old computer. That said, if you’re willing to be extorted by Microsoft, then you get what you have coming to you.