I am finding, that i get easily manipulated, aspecially when it comes to other people’s enjoyment. I usually know, when it’s happening and still go along with it. This is supposed to be a lightharted post (not asking for help or empathy, I just hope to know more).
I realized I was similarly getting manipulated and teased in my late teens. Looking back, I think alot of it was down to me missing/misinterpreting social signals and trying to fit in. I was usually aware of what was going on but didn’t know how to extricate myself in a way that wouldn’t bring further ridicule.
Once I became aware of the pattern, I stopped talking to and approaching people. I keep to myself and generally approach social situations from a respectful but hostile and mistrustful position until proven otherwise. I’m trying to break this habit but its difficult after living it for so long.
I think there is nothing wrong with the habit of not trusting people, before they prove themselves.
I used to do that, but I’ve been cutting that out. I started doing this technique where I specifically ask what is happening in social situations. This lets the manipulators know that I will out them if they start with their crap. Life is a lot less complicated this way, and I like it.
My way of dealing with it is maintain a dubious attitude at all times so people can never figure out if they successfully fucked with you or it’s yet another ruse.
Why do you go along with it? Does it bother you?
For me, at least, it is kind of empathy coupled with social anxiety, regardless of autism or not.
It’s like a defense/coping mechanism to reflect the attitude/tone of the other person to make them feel more comfortable/agreeable imo.
Probably yes to both.
Manipulated how?
Example: Classmates start a joke, where we install a sex game on our phones (I know, pretty stupid). Then they all gasslight me for installing it. In this instance, I suspected something, but I still played along.
I get that, like when you’re being made fun of, and you become aware of it, but you don’t know what to do about it so you just try to make it so obvious in the hopes it will make the bullies self reflect and stop (which they don’t)
Maybe.
Remember: consent matters. Whatever they do, and for whatever reasons, so long as YOU are okay with it, that’s perhaps all that matters?
Illustration example: a toddler “manipulates” parent, but parent enjoys giving in & playing along.
Well, I usually don’t like it, but I really don’t know how to respond other than playing along.
If you are kind to yourself in the short-term, then you can get through each day as it comes. And then with enough days and effort put into it, after awhile you will learn what you need to in order to overcome. e.g. some people you just need to avoid, always, while others are worth some pain, but you are literally the only one in the entire world who can sort any of that out.
Wow. That was nice. Thanks. I said I’m not here for empathy, but am still thankful for your answer.
i feel so read and was just wondering this like yesterday or so lol
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Yes this seems logical.
im glad I’ve grown strong, VERY strong against manipulation, forst step was leaving a certain family member behind who manipulated me for 20 years.
Well you can’t always do that.
