Not specifically about Autism or NTs, but In my professional life I’ve found the book “Crucial Conversations” useful: https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/0071771328/

It breaks down psychological studies and kind of simplifies the rules for how to have difficult conversations that need to happen.

Also, it sounds cheesy but I found value in “How to win Friends and Influence People”. Finding a way to take a real interest in what others are saying and asking follow up questions "shows* them that youre invested in the conversation. Remembering a few key things, like they have a dog or their kid was sick and asking about it the next time you see them shows you put in the effort and they will generally reciprocate. It still feels forced for me after 30+ years, but it works.

Thanks for sharing “Field guide to Earthlings”, just ordered it for my teenage daughter, she’s been struggling with the emotional toll of trying to enter into social relationships with NTs recently. She hadn’t had an interest in the past but has recently been trying and it’s been hard to explain. I believe I’m on the spectrum but undiagnosed, but I’ve developed so many mechanisms for interacting with the rest of the world it can be hard to explain them. They’ve become ingrained and almost second nature. I only get “in trouble” when I try to explain to NT how I think, other than that I mostly blend in.

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I was diagnosed earlier this year at 40 years old. For me, the most valuable resources on late diagnosis aside from this community have been autistic YouTubers. In particular, these three:

• Autism from the Inside: He really breaks down things to simple terms that are easy to understand. Here’s his main late diagnosis video, though he has several, including one that is a conversation with another autistic person.

• Mom on the Spectrum: She was diagnosed at ~31. She shares her journey and what she has learned. I didn’t find a main late diagnosis video, but she has several that cover the topic. Additionally, many of her videos also cover matters on late diagnosis.

• Orion Kelly: I think he is quite intelligent. He seems like a strong advocate for autistic people. His videos have an especially assertive presentation. Here’s his late diagnosis video.

Also, our chat room is a great place to ask any questions that may come up, especially those that you don’t think merit an entire post or you don’t want recorded in your Lemmy history. While it is a room that anyone with the link can join, the Helpful Support/Venting room in particular is encrypted, so only users that have joined the room at the time can see the comments. You can also join with a name that’s different from your Lemmy account so that the two wouldn’t be easily linked. We often have discussions on experiences and difficulties, and I’m seriously surprised how many we have in common. We then discuss ideas on how to help improve the matter.

Edit: Also, welcome to the club!

Can I ask what was it that got you diagnosed?

Books about how to give structure to politics, leadership, and realtionships helps me.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3828370-political-savvy

The prince… No, really.

Fiction books by Larry Niven have autists as main characters and provides some frameworks for seeing the world, in a hardcore scifi environment.

¡ƃuıop ǝɹ,ʎǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʍouʞ ʇ,uop ʎןןɐǝɹ ʎǝɥꓕ ¡ʇı ƃuıʞɐɟ ʇsnɾ ǝɹɐ sǝıɯɹou

I haven’t found any good resources even in urban areas. There’s just not much there for older NDs. Everything is geared towards children. Also, think it’s very unknown how much more exhausting masking gets as you get older. It’s not something you just get better at, it still takes a lot of effort and as you age and energy levels drop it becomes more and more unsustainable.