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The original was posted on /r/mildlyinfuriating by /u/uwufren on 2023-08-14 20:37:34+00:00.
It’s a lesson to learn but I have a feeling he wont learn.
Both of us are looking for jobs and this was the first bite either of us had gotten. It was a steady lifelong job, with yearly raises and hours and a schedule that worked great for our relationship, lifestyle and hobbies and on top of that, something that he has done already and likes to do- they even said he was “more than qualified”.
However, he’s one of those people that “isnt addicted to smoking” but its also one of those things he cant not do for very long, and does it at least once a day if not one or twice a week when he can. His mood very much depends of if he has access to it or not.
When we got together, i told him i didnt mind weed and smoking (even though i dont do it, and prefer edibles when i do which is rare as is) and wouldnt ask him to stop, but the longer we have been together the worse I have felt about it,(enough that i’ve considered whether or not i’ve always kind of minded it) and have been annoyed by his addiction (or so we’ll call it) and now I’m really upset his reliance on it has fucked this over for himself and for us. he also HATES his current job, and was excited to get back into something he liked to do and I was excited for him.
I feel conflicted, but also mildly infuriated.
:::EDIT:::
I dont understand how I’m the asshole in this? Boyfriend smokes too much pot to mask the test and lost a good job opportunity that would have helped out alot since he
- hates his current job and its making him miserable
- would have a more consistent career with benefits that he could really use since he’s in his 20s and wants a career he can get into and have for the rest of his life.
- has a better schedule that works better for our household and things we want to do as a couple, and something that allows us to both spend time together (his current job is 10am-7pm; all daylight hours to do anything)
and… [since you all wanna know so bad] i am a recent college graduate and have been searching for jobs in my field and OUTSIDE my field since before i graduated with my degree in June. I am still looking for jobs and applying to 3-4 or more of them a day. Either one of his jobs, the one he cant get and the one he has now, pays THE SAME so no this is not about having more money so i can “sit on my ass and eat edibles all day” like some of you seem to think it is.
This is about his addiction/habit blocking him from a better quality of life. Thus, as selfish as it supposedly seems, making our relationship and household worse as well, which I have to actually be an active part in as well if you didn’t know!!!
Its annoying that he relies on smoking SO MUCH, that he cant even not do it in my own mother’s house when we visit or he does it outside and just skips over the entire visit, or when we go grocery shopping or just out to bond together for the day. All of these incidents add up, and this makes it NO better.
Wanting to have a better life and relationship with my boyfriend makes me an asshole, just because I cant handle his smoking anymore and this being the icing on the cake as to why I cant.