• Rolder@reddthat.com
    1622·
    1 year ago

    Problem is he only got to experience the fun part. Not the sleepless nights, diaper changing, huge expenses, all that stuff

    • banneryear1868@lemmy.world
      201·
      1 year ago

      I found that stage very boring cause they’re basically a slug and it’s the same cycle on repeat, was on parental leave and had way more time to myself than I did just working a normal job. Back to work toddler stage was the most financially draining because of daycare but the government reimbursement program made it very affordable. It’s definitely more fun when they’re able to communicate and have opinions and stuff, and never had a serious problem with behavioral issues. They just can’t regulate their emotions or know what they are really so you have to teach them all that.

      I’d say for the most part the downsides I hear from younger people without kids are sort of based on naive anxieties that any new parent goes through. Financial concerns are legit although the US is notoriously bad for supporting new parents. We had 18 months fully paid parental leave to split for example. The real downsides are that it takes more intention and planning to do things, but there’s even an upside to that in that you condense a lot of what you enjoy and use the time way more effectively. It’s like well maybe that thing isn’t really that important, and this other thing really is important. It puts a microscope up to your daily life basically and I think that’s what causes the anxiety for people who envision what having kids is like.

      It definitely shakes the snow globe of life up and I wouldn’t even say that’s a good thing for everyone, but also nobody is better or worse because of whether they have kids or not. I hate those remarks parents have sometimes like “oh they don’t have kids so you know” and you can feel that distain and jealousy in their voice.

        • banneryear1868@lemmy.world
          8·
          1 year ago

          It’s a lot more important in that situation. I’m always shocked working with Americans and we say goodbye to someone going on parental leave, and it seems like the next meeting they’re back and I can’t imagine how they do it.

          My parental leave started the spring the pandemic hit and living in the middle of nowhere made it very relaxing. Switched everything to home delivery, had nothing else to do, would just grab a few beers and go on a 10k walk for the afternoon with the stroller, was baking and cooking every day. At that stage I’d just bring her outside and give her like a half of a watermelon we’d scooped out and that would be entertainment for the day lol

          • shastaxc@lemm.ee
            7·
            1 year ago

            It’s hard for men in the US to get any parental leave at all. I used 1 week of vacation time that I had saved up and then back to work.

    • spongebue@lemmy.world
      5·
      1 year ago

      I’m gradually getting out of the boot camp phase after months of having a baby on oxygen, surgery, and other stuff (she was born about 3 months early, 1 pound 4 ounces/580 grams).

      Meanwhile, a friend of mine has a baby a couple months older than mine (going by “adjusted age”) and a 5-year-old. It gives a fun glimpse into what we should expect, whether it’s walking or inexplicably calling her parents by their first names (because “that’s your name! 🤷‍♂️”)

      It’s been rough, but I think this will be fun.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    51·
    1 year ago

    Nothing else will make you want to be a dad like being a temporary dad.

    Also, nothing else will make you not want to be a dad like being a temporary dad.

    • kucing@lemmy.ml
      27·
      1 year ago

      I love playing with my nieces/nephews but as soon I get tired I can just shove them back to their parents.

  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
    40·
    1 year ago

    It’s a bit of a gamble, sounds like your niece is a very reasonable, well behaved kid. Yours could turn out to be satan incarnate, be ready for anything.

  • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
    34·
    1 year ago

    I think it’s great and can identify very much. Kids are wonderfully innocent and when you see them pop out, your world suddenly changes. It’s not about you anymore.

    That being said, they aren’t for everyone. If you want to party or are super driven to do something else, do that. Kids take time, money, and patience. Wrap that thing up or make sure you’re on the pill until you’re certain.

    Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. My life was boring and easy before, but they change that. From the outside it looks like a bunch of diapers, crying, and sleepless nights. There’s plenty of that but also many fantastic moments the strongest of bonds, and a ton of fun.

  • mommykink@lemmy.world
    4620·
    1 year ago

    Oh cool a heartwarming story abou-

    I really need a fembot to marry

    Oh. More incel shit.

  • notapantsday@feddit.de
    101·
    1 year ago

    I have a four year old niece and a one year old nephew and I love spending time with them. They’ve made me go from barely seeing my family at all to driving over any time I have a few days off. But the idea of having kids of my own still scares the shit out of me.