- Reduce atmospheric CO2 to pre-industrial levels
- Give me the ability to see/hear remote locations at will.
- Give me Jessica Jones style mind-control, but without needing to be physically present.
'scuse me while I go unfuck some shit.
Reduce atmospheric CO2 to pre-industrial levels
“SEE! We told you the problem would fix itself! Now we don’t need to take any action to better ourselves for the sake of the environment!”
Luckily you thought of that and using your third wish, you can fix it properly.
Infinite wishes
Fool! I wish for infinite wishes plus one!
inifinity + 1 = infinity
Try ℵ₁ wishes!
ℵ₁ +1! Gotcha!
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Motivation to complete anything I decide to do.
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General happiness with life.
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Good health for my immediate family and I for 50 years.
I mean, you could have solved starvation and global peace, but those are nice too.
You’re welcome to solve those if you want.
Don’t highroad wishes.
And always drink Bailey’s from a shoe
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A post scarcity society
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World peace
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The eradication of authoritarianism
and capitalism (which would be the case under #1 but don’t underestimate human greed)
Capitalism is ultimately bourgeoisie authoritarianism
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Fix global environment/emissions to stable levels.
Fix ignorance/hate
Fix capitalism & greed
A monkeys paw mechanic for everyone in this thread except for me, the annullment of my own bodily needs (eg. sleep, food, water), and i dunno, maybe a cool rock
You are later crushed by your cool rock. Not because of a monkey paw but everybody else is so mad they drop it on you.
Haw haw reverse uno I use my monkey paw wish to wish the same upon to you also cool rock
An Commodore 64, 7 million dollars, and a garbage can that never gets full
Every house needs an incinerator
Best I can do is a C64 emulator …
I miss my first computer 😢
Omnipotence. Then I’m pretty much done.
After that, add Omniscience
Congratulations! You now have the same relationship to the universe that a programmer has to his code.
Good luck, and happy debugging
Everything will be LISP in the future
Not even necessary, with omnipotence you can do that youself. But a little mystery in life would still be fun, no?
Screw it! Just change the laws of reality so you can be omniscient and have mystery at the same time. Make it so those two things don’t conflict.
Yes! Give me all of the science!
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Post scarcity society.
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Immortality.
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Infinite wishes.
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Infinite positive-effects-only wishes (what I consider to be positive)
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Everyone now has empathy and selflessness, eliminating corruption, greed, stepping over each other, exploitation, etc.
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Post-scarcity society, eliminating class even more than the above, since everyone can own whatever they want. Basically a real life Replicator.
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Since I got infinite wishes, given number 3, society will have an even bigger trash problem than we already have. So a convenient, self-contained black hole we can put trash into, inventing a method of creating dark matter, revolutioning how we store energy, Futurama-style, which then becomes free due to post-scarcity.
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Healthy planet, healthy people, healthy animals, plants, etc. Also includes mental health (infinite wishes are nice)
A replicator solves the trash problem, you just throw the trash in the replicator and it breaks it down to build stuff.
I choose you to get the wishes. Your list is my list. I don’t wish for immortality - since I had kids, I’m disqualified. But 10x the lifespan with hundreds of years feeling like I do now, that would be nice, and with the replicator technology (who will get the manual on how to service these) the carrying capacity of the earth should be higher.
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Universal healthcare
Capitalism and authoritarianism eradicated
Everyone’s medical and student debt wiped
Max verstappen and Donald Trump both due in a head on car collision against each other.
Green Bay Packers never win another game.
To live a long and healthy life with my wife.
Why Verstappen?
Imagine how excellent this F1 season would have been without him?
How is it Max’s fault everyone else sucks?
Yeah… That’s it. 19 other drivers, including two other multi time world champions, all suck. You are right. I was wrong. Give me a second to open my mouth wide enough to accept Max’s thin, drink tube-like penis as you have
Oh come off it, that was clearly a joke. But seriously, F1 is more than the race for P1. The current season wouldn’t be much more entertaining without him. Sure, he’s dominating at the front, but that’s only 1/20th of the race, everything that happens behind him is constantly in flux and plenty interesting to watch.
But then we wouldn’t have had 2021 which was amazing.
Was it? Twisted rules for a final lap to decide the championship?
Was that really amazing?
Yes. The whole season isn’t written off because of 1 lap. The season was amazing. The final lap was bullshit, but the season was one of the best.
The final lap also wasn’t on Max, that was ok Masi
What did Max ever do to you 😭
He’s just a cunt.
Green Bay Packers never win another game.
I like the way you think. Except it would be Erik Karlsson would never win another game (hockey). Fuck that guy in particular.
what’s the monkey paw mechanic I’m confused
In a short story, the monkey’s paw is an artifact that grants three wishes of the person who holds it, albeit in the worst way possible.
The story goes that a pensioner and his wife receive the paw from some guy who warns them that the paw twists the wishes, but they pay the warning no mind and wish for a sum of money. A finger on the paw curls, and a factory foreman shows up with the money explaining that their son has died of a horrific mutilating accident in the factory. The insurance policy pays the money out to the surviving members of the family.
The wife wishes that their son were alive again, another finger curls, and a few hours later they hear another knock at the door. The wife rushes to welcome their son, however, recalling the stranger’s warning and imagining how terrifying the mutilated body of their son might look, the father uses the last finger to wish the son dead and buried again. Incidentally, there doesn’t appear to be a negative on that wish apart from the horror that’s already been visited on them.
I wish you hadn’t asked that
My own General Systems Vehicle complete with a holodeck lol.
Immortality via transfer of consciousness into permanent artificial bodies for me, my wife, and our dog.
All humans will become much more proactive and thus don’t put up with corporate or government bullshit.
Two chicks at the same time
Not sure about the third wish
That’s … that’s what you’d do with three wishes? Two chicks at the same time? Couldn’t you do that without three wishes?
You haven’t seen my horribly disfigured body. I’d probably need all three wishes for it.
