• FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I feel like the idea that women are otherworldly creatures instead of people and seeing someone being nice to their partner as “the man having tamed a female and convinced her to treat him well” has a lot to do with his problem.

    I hate how much that is preserved socially, there’s no good reason why that hasn’t gone away at least a decade or two ago.

    • Maalus@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It’s learned helplessness. Once they get rejected 15 times in a row for being a weirdo or something similar, they start to think in that instead of either reflecting back on the experience and trying to be better, or looking elsewhere.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Simply going from zero self improvement to nonzero may not be enough. That’s why we call a situation like this a hole. A person in a hole needs to climb to get to ground level.

    • Chaos@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Totally agree. I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years now, and it most definitely didnt involve me trying to tame her 🤣

      It was just luck to meet. We both liked each other. That’s literally it.

      • FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        There wasn’t, that’s what it sounded like to me, you’re welcome to disagree, angrily if you feel like it.

        • FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          Cool! I didn’t know I was getting good numbers. That’s how I read the thing but you’re welcome to disagree, I certainly don’t read “convinced a woman to touch him gently” as someone recognizing the woman is a person who might’ve chosen to do so without convincing the same way she chose to rub his shoulders too.

          • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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            1 year ago

            OOP is a 30yo forever alone virgin posting to 4chan, I think this kind of perception of women is par for the course. At least the outcome wasn’t totally terrible and he walked away without offending anyone, probably the best we could hope for.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Yes. Being isolated is a result and a cause of strange views of other people.

      It’s a positive feedback loop that one needs to accept massive discomfort — on the part of the re-integrating person and on the part of the normal people they’re re-integrating with — in order to escape.

      Avoidance of disturbing others is a key part of men self isolating.

    • clearleaf@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Of course people want make this guy into ultra Hitler and blame the situation entirely on him.

      • FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        If it wasn’t clear, I wasn’t saying he’s the most horrible person in the world but rather that his issue is most likely linked to the way he sees women.

        I also could’ve sworn I made a point about it being a societal issue rather than just that individual’s