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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Future_Rate9906 on 2023-08-11 19:40:46.

Me (f33) and my boyfriend have a great relationship. We have been together for three years now. love and trust him deeply. We have a good sex life. He’s really good at deeply intimate, making love type of sex. And even though I enjoy that very much. I would like something else/something more. I would like him to dominate me in bed. Tie me up, give me orders. Spank me, choke me that kind of thing.

We have talked about this several times, and he says he’s open to trying. But nothing has happened yet. I’ve told him to spank me and choke me and he obliges. But that kind of defeats the whole purpose with me having to tell him what to do . Any advice? I think maybe he likes the confidence. Even though I give him lots of compliments and reassurance.

His ex before me really did a number on him. She belittled him and cheated on him several times. I don’t know how to fix the damage.