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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Right-Ad8261 on 2023-08-11 19:40:26.

I have the higher sex drove in my marriage (of ten years) we usually have sex once a month or so. Due to a variety of circumstances we hadnt done it for a bit more than that, which I know isn’t that long but it’s enough where I definitely miss it (at times we whave gone many months without doing it).

Anyways, the other day it was my infants first birthday and in the middle of the day my wife asked me if I can go get things to make a small family party for him and I said that it’s hard because I was busy working (remotely) and was running behind on making dinner.

So she says “if you go I’ll give you a handjob”. Now, she never really does this, or bjs, outside of piv we don’t really do anything sexual (as part of foreplay I do give her oral often) because she isn’t interested. So I went ahead and did it.

Fast forward to today, we are both off from work and had the house to ourselves. I asked if she wanted to have sex and she said not really, she was going out soon and didn’t want to get undressed and all that. So I said, in a light, playful tone “what about that thing you owe me”. She asked what I was talking about so I recapped our “deal” and she said “oh, I didn’t actually mean that I just wanted you to get the stuff”. Um, ok.

I firmly don’t believe in guilting her into sex or sexual activities but I was really excited about it so I couldn’t help being dissapointed. She then starts talking about other things and I guess picking up on my lack of enthusiasm she asks, in almost an accusatory tone “what’s wrong”. I say “nothing”, because, I mean, if she doesn’t know I’m sure as fuck not going to explain it. Like, fine, you don’t want to do it. You’re entitled to that. I’m entitled to be a little bummed, that’s how I see it. She seems to disagree.

Am I an asshole here??