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schizoidman@lemmy.zip to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 6 天前

Thieves steal €30,000 in bull semen from farm in northern Germany

dpa-international.com

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Thieves steal €30,000 in bull semen from farm in northern Germany

dpa-international.com

schizoidman@lemmy.zip to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 6 天前
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Thieves steal €30,000 in bull semen from farm in northern Germany | dpa international
dpa-international.com
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  • Omega@discuss.online
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    6 天前

    30 thousand euros worth? Where are they sold?

    • remon@ani.social
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      6 天前

      It’s for personal use.

      • moody@lemmings.world
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        6 天前

        These guys were THIRSTY!

      • Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world
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        6 天前

        If only there was a vegan alternative.

        • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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          5 天前

          you may not have any of my flower semen.

          edit: no that’s mean take a teensy piece

        • F04118F@feddit.nl
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          5 天前

          Veganism implies consent.

          Do I need to spell it out for you how to get a load in a vegan way or can you figure it out?

      • Captain Baka@feddit.org
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        6 天前

        Kinda looks like milk, so maybe they were thirsty?

        • tomenzgg@midwest.social
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          6 天前

      • RedstoneValley@sh.itjust.works
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        6 天前

        Taking a bath in style

    • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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      5 天前

      There are online marketplaces for it.

    • JustARaccoon@lemmy.world
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      6 天前

      Other farms for insemination, my guess. I’d imagine they’re for specific breeds.

  • RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works
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    5 天前

    One man’s cum is another man’s income

  • PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world
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    5 天前

    Image the culprits, suspected to be fuck-goofs

    • QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works
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      5 天前

      Why is that guy red

      • PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world
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        5 天前

        He’s a twiggy alien that’s severely allergic to dogs

      • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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        5 天前

        He’s shy.

  • RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee
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    5 天前

    How do you fence 30k of cow spunk?

    • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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      5 天前

      I don’t know, but once I was flying business class and the guy next to me had a liquid-nitrogen flask full of prize-winning brahma bull spooge. According to the guy, couriers like that are well-compensated. Made my work seem meaningful in comparison.

  • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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    6 天前

    The pedigrees of steers is a world unto itself. I’ve heard stories of people who were in the business getting wined and dined by governments. Bizarre but pretty interesting.

  • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
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    6 天前

    Is nothing sacred?

  • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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    5 天前

    Do they plan to make Red Bull?

  • BenLeMan@lemmy.world
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    5 天前

    Prost Mahlzeit!

  • Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world
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    6 天前

    How much volume is 30k of bull spunk? I’m thinking it must be at least a bucket full.

    • k0e3@lemmy.ca
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      6 天前

      The official unit is bull-kkake.

    • notsosure@sh.itjust.works
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      6 天前

      deleted by creator

  • QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz
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    6 天前

    Why there are no movies about sperm bank robberies?

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      6 天前

      Probably because the actual plot would be nowhere near exciting enough to compensate for the draconian restrictions enforced by ratings agencies for daring to mention human reproduction 🤷

    • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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      6 天前

      Wasn’t that one plot point of Man of Steel?

    • sudneo@lemm.ee
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      5 天前

      There is Brassic episode about stealing bull sperm (although from a farm, not a bank).

      I think it’s S3e01

  • 𝕱𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍@lemmy.world
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    5 天前

    My milkshake brings all the bulls to the yard

  • Widdershins@lemmy.world
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    5 天前

    The barrel was probably mistaken for Nuclear Bloom

  • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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    5 天前

    “Quick, spit it into this thermos!”

  • thelittleerik@lemmy.world
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    6 天前

    New Jackass Episode???

  • omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    6 天前

    Creamy and delicious

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