I used to come in to work every morning at a restaurant and eat a bagel with cream cheese out of the pantry, because I didn’t know any better / didn’t give a shit. One of the food prep ladies noticed and gave me grief about it and I said “but I’m hungry.”

I was just being a smartass about it, kind of like “but that is what I want to do and I DGAF about the profit margin,” but she backed off within milliseconds and didn’t say another goddamned word. It actually made me feel bad how seriously she took it. Like “Oh, gotcha, didn’t realize, take as much as you want and I’ll rig the inventory if you want so it doesn’t show.” I felt too bad about it to clarify to her and just stopped stealing food after that.