the vatican couch was plush

The pope didn’t thank him

JD Vance was the thing that made the Pope finally give up on humanity.

Obviously Vance wanted to fuck the Papal seat. The pope tried to explain that he couldn’t just let Vance fuck the chair of St Peter. Vance did not like this answer.

He probably didn’t even do it on purpose. But I’m sure he did it.

Rearrange the letters in J.D. Vance and you get VADJECAN

• Just
• Die
• Vatican
• Asshole
• Now
• Cum
• Expeditiously

One thing I’ve learned is never try to beat a couch fucker at his own game

Obviously he was hoping to take his powers.

He killed him by being near him

He killed the pope then a couple days later started up a Muslim terror attack on Hindus so all the worlds major religions are at war

Homie has a problem with decency and people following the word of Jesus, despite publicly saying he is a Christian.

I asked ChatGPT to explain why JD Vance would kill the pope and it cited articles at me to tell me that JD Vance did not, in fact, kill the pope. I even tried to get it to doubt itself and it doubled down. If I have to live in slop world, I should at least be able to have fun with it :(

If he had anything to do with it he probably heated the discussion and yelled at him like a spoiled brat.

Same as Liz Truss killing the queen. Sometimes, when you’re old and in poor health, you just experience something that makes you think “fuck it, I don’t need to put up with this shit anymore.”