Oh, he nailed it. Surrogate connection, that’s what we’re getting. And since it’s clearly distinct from the real thing in several ways, it’s only logical that it would be a poor substitute for irl connections. Where you can actually hug someone.
I know this isn’t a novel idea, but the wire-mother analogy is a particularly effective way to communicate it, and this is the first I’m seeing it.
edit: To further add, we should probably remember that not everyone gets the same opportunities for healthy, irl connections, due to circumstances outside their control. Particularly when you’re still a minor.
In these cases where the choice is between surrogate connections (say, an AI companion) and none at all (near-total social ostracisation) then the less-than-ideal becomes a little preferable to the shittiest of possibilities.
Absolutely. The essay does actually address that towards the end:
There’s no shame in turning to the internet for supplementing socialization when doing it “better” isn’t feasible. It’s easy to imagine situations where someone might not have access to a community that keeps them sane. A gay teenager stuck in rural Alabama. A woman born into a controlled religious society. A New York sports fan in Boston. Some days in life, the best we can hope for is making it until tomorrow in one piece.
Having been the gay teenager in a rural southern town, I can absolutely affirm that being able to connect with other gay guys online was massively helpful to me.
At the same time, now that I’m in a much better place, I can also affirm how much worse it is than actual real-life connection with a real community, and I do think that that’s something that’s quite a lot harder to access nowadays since so much social activity has shifted online.
Quite true. I interpreted that as an intentional introduction of a slight amount of levity, because the topic was so dark and saddening. As usual with humor, it was not intended to be taken in earnest. I do not believe the author thinks sports rivalries are as egregious as the other two.
This is true. Even amongst humans, there’s a concept called “surrogate partners”, who work with sex therapists who help patients deal with barriers in intimate relationships.
Oh, he nailed it. Surrogate connection, that’s what we’re getting. And since it’s clearly distinct from the real thing in several ways, it’s only logical that it would be a poor substitute for irl connections. Where you can actually hug someone.
I know this isn’t a novel idea, but the wire-mother analogy is a particularly effective way to communicate it, and this is the first I’m seeing it.
edit: To further add, we should probably remember that not everyone gets the same opportunities for healthy, irl connections, due to circumstances outside their control. Particularly when you’re still a minor.
In these cases where the choice is between surrogate connections (say, an AI companion) and none at all (near-total social ostracisation) then the less-than-ideal becomes a little preferable to the shittiest of possibilities.
Absolutely. The essay does actually address that towards the end:
Having been the gay teenager in a rural southern town, I can absolutely affirm that being able to connect with other gay guys online was massively helpful to me.
At the same time, now that I’m in a much better place, I can also affirm how much worse it is than actual real-life connection with a real community, and I do think that that’s something that’s quite a lot harder to access nowadays since so much social activity has shifted online.
One of these things is not like the other, unless Boston is killing New York fans regularly. (Which wouldn’t surprise me. My sister’s a Red Sox fan.)
Quite true. I interpreted that as an intentional introduction of a slight amount of levity, because the topic was so dark and saddening. As usual with humor, it was not intended to be taken in earnest. I do not believe the author thinks sports rivalries are as egregious as the other two.
I personally wouldn’t judge any Yankees fan living in Boston who chooses to remain closeted about their allegiances and only discusses sports online.
This is true. Even amongst humans, there’s a concept called “surrogate partners”, who work with sex therapists who help patients deal with barriers in intimate relationships.