Hermione had found and revived a trapped Godric Gryffindor in a hidden alove above the shifting stairs.

Unfortunately some of his views were… problematic.

“We must muster our forces immediately.”

“Erm against whom?”

“What do you mean whom? Against the <expletive> Danes. They keep raiding our humble homes and stealing our mead. Them <expletive> <more expletives>.”

He spat In anger. Madame Pomfrey winced.

"Danes? Er You mean the Vikings? we are at peace with them now. ", Dumbledore said calmly.

Gryffindor Roared "WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEACE. NO <expletive> PEACE CAN <more expletives> UNTIL THE LAST <you get the idea> DANESMAN IS DEAD." He said not so calmly.

“And why would school children fight the vikings?”

“Whom else would we gather to stand against the <expletive> Norse?. The perfumed <ugly expletive> from Aethelred’s court?. Only we here at Hogwarts school of Warcraft and Wizardry can stop them before it’s too late” Gryffindor said, his jowls vibrating in rage. His yellowed teeth gnashing in hate.

“But…”

“Gimme a minute. I need to go <slightly less ugly expletive> piss. Get my steed ready in the meantime Girl” He said and left.

(he spat again for good measure).

Madame Pomfrey looked at Dumbledore in shock.

“What steed? Professor what should we do?”

“Alas. I am starting to understand why they put him up there” Dumbledore said grimly.

“Wait. Did anyone tell how modern bathrooms work?”

“Oh No.”