So I stopped generally using Reddit after the whole API thing but my husband still does and we talk about stuff since Lemmy gets the job done.
One thing he likes is to hop on r/freecompliments and participate there.
Well, today he got permanently banned. Why? Because a bot dredged his profile and found that he sometimes participates in porn subreddits. Usually to complement people there, never posting himself. He’s pretty ace, so it’s rarely, if ever, sexual. But that was enough for the bot to ban him.
They sent a message about how they are sfw subreddit and don’t allow users to participate in NSFW subreddits.
He’s heartbroken about it. He really likes to be nice to people and it makes his day when they respond to him. Now he can’t do that in a sub that’s meant for it.
I feel like the site rules have opinions about banning like this, but it’s not like the admins give a fuck. So fuck those mods and their puritanical bullshit making at least once persons day worse, for the low cost of a user that was participating in good faith.
And since I’m on a roll, fuck spez
I tried posting this to trueoffmychest to dredge some sympathy for him, since that seemed appropriate and he was good with it, but they don’t allow ‘anger’ or ‘impersonal’ posts and that got quietly removed immediately. So fuck them too. I didn’t realize how far down the shitter reddit has gone.
When can we welcome your husband here?
Probably not soon. He’s slow to adopt replacements and I don’t think Lemmy has the mass yet to hold him. But I’m letting him know that some people here care and who knows, maybe he’ll make the jump. What’s a good apple Lemmy app?
You can take your pick from this mega thread. Hope it helps!
Thanks. I use Android so I get lost on Apple anything.
Same! I just saw that both Thunder and Liftoff are available for IOS, so I’d personally recommend those two. Hopefully they’ll help your husband to join us soon and without issues lol
I’ve been using Voyager for Android and was pleased to see it was available for iOS as well, so now my gf’s been onboarded to lemmy too!
Tell him we say hi, and we have cat pictures ready.
I was on Reddit a lot and I’ve found it a great replacement. The shit I miss, I didn’t really need in my life anyway. It only took a couple of day to not check it all. My only suggestion is that he knows about the different front pages for each instance and changing between subscribed, all, hot, and 12 hour. I don’t know any Apple apps but I’m sure you’ll get others to answer that.
Besides… it’s become astonishingly rare for me to really argue in discussion threads. Used to happen to me all the time…
I use Memmy, it’s simple and easy. It reminds me of a barebones Apollo. Sorry to hear your hubby got banned, that’s super lame.
In all honesty, your husband and I seem pretty similar. In all honesty, there are some wonderful interactions that make my day, but there are still so many negative ones that hurt to read just because you can tell that they’re choosing to get upset and pick fights
If he can, he might honestly be better off without either until Lemmy decides its “culture” more
Edit: or stick to the instances with more welcoming cultures, but that limits a large portion of Lemmy as a whole
One time, I received a message from some mods that I had been permabanned and muted from some random sub where I barely participated. I had been banned because I made a comment in a thread I found in r/all. Apparently the thread was from a differen sub dedicated to some kind of bigotry, and making a single comment calling them bigots was enough to get me auto banned from an unrelated sub.
That was years ago, and I don’t think it’s gotten any better.
I was lurking on askhistorians for many years using my current lemmy username, until one time I thanked somebody for their contribution and got instantly permabanned for having a rude username. 🤷
I think I got banned from there, too, because I responded regarding a topic I know quite well, but I’m not a credentialed historian. I think they let me off with a warning, but I just blocked the sub. Wouldn’t want to accidentally talk about history.
I got banned like this too. They told me I could swear I’d never participate in /r/conservative again and they’d remove the ban.
I told them to kiss my ass.
It bummed me out, but I wasn’t about to make that stupid promise.
I hardly ever paid attention to which sub I was in when I was browsing. It always bugged me when mods would come up with their own rules and then enforce them with an iron fist. Like I’m supposed to remember that /r/generictopic doesn’t allow any mention of dogs or some other bullshit.
So when I got banned for something esoteric, I just blocked the sub and moved on with my life.
There were a few bans I contested, like when one sub banned me for hate speech. I responded “What hate speech?” And they said “We can read between the lines.” and then they muted me for 30 days. So every 30 days I set a reminder to respond to their conversation. That went on for a few months, because I had nothing better to do with my time.
I got banned from r/trueoffmychest because I commented on a r/tumblrinaction post (something along the lines of “you can’t use autism as a blanket excuse to be an asshole”). Didn’t matter the context of my comment. Just that I did it once.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯Fucking hell. I moved to trueoffmychest after offmychest banned me for something similar (from years prior). Bans for participating in other subreddits are such horseshit.
Live long enough to become the villain I guess.
That sucks, but try not to get so invested in this stuff (you and your husband both). Like, think about it objectively - some wanna be internet police literally prevented you from being nice to strangers. Think of how silly and pedantic and absurd that is.
Is that really something you want to let make you feel upset? Even for a second? Like don’t even give it a second thought, just roll your eyes at the absurdity, move on and enjoy your lives together.
You’re not wrong. I’ll admit I was more upset by him being sad possibly more than he was at it happening. My general feelings on the stupidity stand, but neither of us are going to let it really drag us down.
He liked that a bunch of people at least sent some sympathy his way. I think it helped him not spiral on it. He’s prone to getting stuck on things so I appreciate everyone being generally kind.
Glad he’s feeling better and hopefully he lets that roll off him without too much negativity setting in.
reddit is just way too censored and algorithmic these days. 95% of mod abilities shouldn’t exist
Lemmy’s mod power really are not much different, but what makes mods act much more carefully here is the open mod log.
Yeah, it’s great and can be used to find shitty mods as well as shitty users who lie about their comment that was deleted.
You say that but I’ve already been banned from a few communities for absolutely literally no reason and there’s zero responses from mods and there’s no way to hold them accountable because it’s their communities and they can do what they want still. It’s literally no different than Reddit in my opinion.
The actual significant difference is that lemmy isn’t a corporation.
I haven’t been banned yet for saying child molesters should be executed. So it’s at least marginally better than reddit.
I feel ya. I once said “a rapist getting raped is cosmically funny”, then was suspended for “inciting violence” The article being commented on was about a rapist getting raped.
There’s certainly that
Is it not standard to have separate porn and regular amounts?
UPDATE: I just created !freecompliments@lemm.ee! I couldn’t create it on lemmy.world, sorry. Lemmy World can be weird like that. But at least lemm.ee is stable!
Edit: I would also like to say that after looking at r/freecompliments, their rules are over-explained TL;DR stuff and I get the vibe that they are overly controlling, enforcing a toxic level of positivity at all costs, and all that.
Edit 2: What sucks is I made this new banner for it, but lemm.ee has never let me upload images, even profile pics or banners.
I’d never been to that sub before and… yeah…
I feel like if I mentioned that too much of anything, including positivity, is toxic, I’d be downvoted to hell before I was insta-perma-banned.
A lesson I learned the hard way: don’t rely on internet forums for emotional needs
I had 2 reddit accounts and currently have 3 lemmy accounts. Mods gonna mod
Multi Lemmys makes sense given federation, but he’s not willing to make an extra on Reddit because he’s afraid of getting his account banned. He’s had it for like eight years now and one sub isn’t worth the (unlikely) chance of ban.
I was banned from several subreddits because I was subscribed to r/pussypassdenied
Imagine outing yourself like that
This type of toxic behavior has been my general reddit experience.
I tried posting this to trueoffmychest to dredge some sympathy for him, since that seemed appropriate and he was good with it, but they don’t allow ‘anger’ or ‘impersonal’ posts and that got quietly removed immediately
Okay, yeah, and this is why I’m happy I created this community. “Toxic positivity”, “extreme safe spaces”, and tangential mentalities are extremely harmful and suffocating and can die in a fire.
- People get angry, and that’s fine
- Nobody’s perfect, and that’s fine
- Bonus: Nobody should be able to ban you based on what other subreddits/communities you’re a part of. I guess unless they’re politically-insidious, hate groups, or otherwise promoting harm? But yeah
Edit: I would also like to say that after looking at r/freecompliments, their rules are over-explained TL;DR stuff and I get the vibe that they are overly controlling, enforcing a toxic level of positivity at all costs, and all that.
Thank you, sincerely.
Just make a new account. It’s no big deal. Always keep porn accounts and regular accounts separate.
They sent a message about how they are sfw subreddit and don’t allow users to participate in NSFW subreddits.
Absolute lunatics. Every day I’m glad I deleted my account.
That’s such a ridiculous reason. I didn’t have any idea they had a rule like that! Honestly, I usually go on the “juicy subreddits” when I’m bored, but I’ve got maybe a few NSFW subs that I’m on. I don’t post there, but sometimes I comment. Nice to know that my thoughts on having a separate account aren’t for zero reason. I see why people have “throwaway accounts” now.
