NASA astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams have been stuck in space for months longer than expected, and will not return to Earth until at least March 2025 at the earliest, NASA indicated.
I know people have spent longer on the ISS but at some point, I’d come back in a Home Depot bucket wearing a spacesuit with some scuba gear.
And for those who want to argue about the heat shielding on a Home Depot bucket, I’d be responsible about it. I’d glue all kinds of shit to it. Steal a parachute from the Roscosmos side. I’d be fine.
“You’d land in the Indian Ocean."
This isn’t rocket science. It’s the opposite. I’ll land where I want. I’d aim for your mom’s house and land in her bedroom. Injuries would include a crushed pelvis and not from the fall. That’s just what happens when I visit your mom.
I know people have spent longer on the ISS but at some point, I’d come back in a Home Depot bucket wearing a spacesuit with some scuba gear.
And for those who want to argue about the heat shielding on a Home Depot bucket, I’d be responsible about it. I’d glue all kinds of shit to it. Steal a parachute from the Roscosmos side. I’d be fine.
“You’d land in the Indian Ocean."
This isn’t rocket science. It’s the opposite. I’ll land where I want. I’d aim for your mom’s house and land in her bedroom. Injuries would include a crushed pelvis and not from the fall. That’s just what happens when I visit your mom.
Reads like a Mark Watney diary entry
Death by snu snu. Nice.
Glorious build up to a “fucked yo mama” joke. Excellent pacing!