I just really hate how my friends label me as a child, they are not 100% NT but way less autistic than me, yesterday she admitted they viewed me as a child, at first she stated that she viewed all of her peers as children since she felt she had more lived experience which is fine she can do whatever she wants. but then we met a new friend who she took a liking to and who she views as an adult, and recently on the way home our friend group got to talking about something and I asked something jokingly. She said rather seriously “Sky, there are some things that stay between adults” I reply I am legitimately a year older than you, she then said rather seriously not in any of the ways that matter. In general, there have been plenty of other times I felt like I was treated as a child, and generally, she and others have capped the level of closeness they have with me to protect me, which in practice only creates an environment where I do not have any close friends at all, I legit usually sob to myself in my room when and think about killing myself. I also understand I am a failure by most traditional metrics, no job, no car, no place, I have been trying to get a job for over 8 months, I wrecked my car 6 months ago, but I am not a fucking child.

I regularly feel like people pretend to be interested in what I am saying since I am being viewed a child and most people do not want to be mean to a child, I just feel like such a loser in general and I really hate the fact I am autistic which is 100% why this keeps happening.

  • rowinxavier@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    If someone does not treat you with respect you are not their friend, you are their pet.

    It is no reflection on you at all, this is purely on them, but if they don’t respect you they are not treating you as an equal as they should be.

    You deserve better.

    A healthy relationship can include a difference of experience, knowledge, even power, but not respect. Respect is the bedrock of a good relationship and if you don’t have that you may need to look elsewhere. If you were not modelled self respect or taught it you would benefit from learning about it.

    That all said, she sounds like she may just be compensating in some way, putting you down to elevate herself, but seriously you don’t have to take that. She could potentially change and stop this behaviour but she may persist and you may have no option but to get into a new friend ggroup and leave this one.