I (fart) don’t (fart) fart. People say (fart) I fart but (fart) I don’t. I am not a flatulent person. (fart) They never (fart) report how much of a (fart) non-farter I am ( big long fart)

I liked when he said he wasn’t weird while giving a rambling 2 hour press conference next to a breakfast sausage spoiling in the sun.

… and yet over 30 million Americans will happily vote for this person. We are in the worst timeline.

“I don’t ramble…”:

I heard the other day – And this isn’t anything, I’m just saying. They’ll say ‘he was rambling.’ I don’t ramble. I’m a really smart guy. You know, I’m really smart. I don’t ramble. But the other day – any time I hit too hard, they say he was rambling. Rambling?

You know, I get up, and I make a speech, I go for sometimes two hours, two and half hours because, you know, people are waiting outside for three days, four days. You guys were waiting out there for a long time! Front Row Joes are waiting, I don’t know how you guys do it.

And I feel I have an obligation to speak, and speak in a certain way, and speak a little bit longer. You know, how would you like it, a guy’s waiting with his family for three and a half, four days. They have a tent and the tent is set up. They have hundreds of them, and they wait. And then I walk in, speak for 15 minutes and leave. I don’t know somehow, would that be okay, North Carolina? I don’t think so. Right.

(He was in Pennsylvania.)

They want me to speak all day. You know, when I leave – I did one, two hours and 15 minutes and I’m leaving and they’re screaming, no, sir. More. We want to hear more. I can’t, I can’t speak more. What the hell else am I going to say? Our country is going to hell. That’s all I can say. We’re a nation in decline.

You know, we were talking about that before. My phrases are copied so much, right? I use I use the term, often times in closing, we are a nation in decline. We are a failed nation. And I think it’s a beautiful phrase. Although I don’t like the topic very much, I don’t like what it represents. But there’s a certain beauty. All of a sudden all of these candidates, including Republicans, are saying we are a nation in decline. We are a failing nation. And I say, you know, what the hell do they have to copy me for? Right?

But they have a lot of words that they copy. Many of our words. We were in the plane before coming in, and our people said we went through a list. I think we’re going to release a list, let’s release it. But so many of our phrases they copy. I should be really, that should be a nice thing, not an insult. But crazy Bernie Sanders has said a lot of things…

This is just a couple of minutes of verbal diarrhoea. Imagine sitting through over two hours of that. No wonder attendance is poor compared with Kamala, who is clearly capable of coherent and consistent thought.

I want that 2 minutes back

This story sounds like an Onion article. Matter of fact, a lot of stories about Trump are sounding like Onion articles…

Hey Donnie, how’s the race going?

…

Jesus Christ :)

Look at the absolute spectacle of pure bred american in the ptsd shirt on the left. Note the thumb-like head. The way the candidness of the photo captures every inch of slack in his jaw. The stupefied look of chronically lagging behind in even the most menial of thoughts. Ladies and gentlemen, the true Maga republican.

Is Mediaite subcontracting to The Onion now?