I have mild PTSD from the lack of sleep and constant screaming. I wouldn’t wish a colicky baby on my worst enemy.
In case you haven’t heard this today:
- You deserve some time with some earplugs in.
- It’s okay (and wise) to set baby down somewhere safe and contained and go take a break. If you’re worried about it, set a timer and take breaks on a regimented schedule.
- You will sleep well again.
First of all, thank you for an actually empathetic comment and great advice. My demon baby is now a happy preschooler.
I will say with my previous child, I thought I knew more than I did because they were such an easy baby. Now I know better and I constantly coach tactics, like the ones you describe, to new parents.
In my SEA culture, parents sleep with their babies, meaning a crying baby will immediately find a teat to suckle on while the mum sleeps on.
We also are very physical with our babies, hugging and picking them up immediately when they cry. Every able bodied adult and even older siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles will also do this for you. Our babies grow up well adjusted and have good emotional attachment with their parents and extended family.
lol I don’t think you intended it be but literally the second comment on the post is shaming parents which is what this article is discussing.
Says the weak parent with a non sleeping crying baby. Maybe you should be shamed?
lol imagine writing and posting this comment.
I mean, that sounds like it’s should be self-evident but sometimes people are stretched too thin by the nuclear family or even single parent expectations of Western society to realize they can’t do it on their own. Worse, the expectation of one parent per child means if you don’t have existing family, you don’t have a chance at being a parent unless you give up your life.
To be fair, it seems that all too often a baby with these issues turns out to have a genetic issue like Autism which is the source of their distress rather than anything the parents can relieve.
I’ve compared notes with other parents, and we discovered that all children are essentially identical, and every parenting idea that worked for any one of us has worked for everyone’s kids equally. It’s pretty great how easy this turned out to be. /s
My baby has been sleeping incredibly well since he was 3 months old. Fellow parents ask me the magic formula and, most often, when I share what we have been doing, it’s something they have already tried and didn’t work. We just are very lucky, there is honestly very little else…
Yep. It sucks, but it’s often just gotta be per-kid trial-and-error.
parenting is really hard and I don’t think it was ever meant to be left to just two people (or worse yet, one)
Multi-generational households have been a thing for most of human history, and having a kid really highlights why! I can’t imagine having to take care of my kid 24-7 “for ever”, I’m so glad kindergartens exist!
I mean it elicits gasps of horror from me because I sympathize. Some kids just sleep like shit and it sucks ass for their parents. Sometimes there’s stuff you can do but kids are unique individuals.
That said, if your kid is not sleeping well, try what you can and then learn to let go. That’s really all any of us can do with our kids: give it a reasonable person effort and hope it’s enough. Many of your child’s outcomes are driven by genetic factors beyond your control or knowledge. Some of them will fail despite your best efforts. Some of the extraordinary efforts are beyond people’s means.
Sometimes you can do nothing wrong and still fail. So check, test, try, and then rest.
