CAN YOU IMAGINE A CRAB the size of a cat scuttling around your backyard, climbing up trees, and quietly sneaking away with your shiniest pots and silverware? No? Then perhaps you’ve never had the privilege of meeting a coconut crab.
These crabs are curious and unfussy. In addition to coconut flesh, fallen fruit, nuts, and seeds, they’ll eat the remains of dead rats, seabirds, and even their own kind. This has led to speculation that these giants may be partly responsible for the disappearance of famed aviator Amelia Earhart, who perished in the remote Pacific. Some researchers believe that her remains were eaten by coconut crabs, who then dragged away the bones.
But don’t let that put you off. While they will defend themselves if provoked, coconut crabs aren’t aggressive toward people. They have, however, earned the nickname “robber crabs” for their love of human-made objects, which they often drag away to their burrows for further inspection and, when possible, degustation.
While they seem especially drawn to shiny pots and pans—probably because they smell like food—researchers and tourists have recorded the crabs carrying off everything from whisky bottles and sandals to expensive camera equipment. In one legendary example, a crab on Australia’s Christmas Island stole—and crushed—a rifle that had previously belonged to a soldier making camp.
Nightmare fuel
Ironic, considering she ran out of fuel.
Dad-a-chum?
Ded-a-chek?
And here you can see the peak of all animal evolution triumphing over the previous title holder.
Now there’s a title that rises like a mountaintop among mere hills of clickbait, flirting with “Headless Body In Topless Bar” territory.