I’ve mostly left reddit and switched to beehaw, but I posted on somewhat of a niche tech-related subreddit today since there really isn’t a community for that here yet. And wow, I got instantly downvoted twice and the first comment response was rude and hostile. All I posted was a feature suggestion for software that I thought would be useful and that a good amount of people would like based on other feedback I’ve heard. This is not the sort of topic that should be controversial or aggravating, and it wasn’t like I made an ignorant post suggesting a feature that already existed or otherwise wasn’t well researched.
This type of instantly hostile response has happened numerous times on reddit for various different topics, but I just haven’t posted for a while, so I forgot just how shitty it can feel. It makes me really appreciate how friendly and respectful the community is here on Beehaw and on Mastodon. People seem to have good faith in one another similar to how the internet used to be in the old days.
Have you had similar experiences with Reddit and similarly opposite experiences here on Beehaw/Lemmy?
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For reasons I already pointed out several times (and which I don’t mind pointing out again), I had severe anxiety and rejection sensitiveness when I wrote comments on Reddit, fearing their responses. Sometimes those fears were correct, and sometimes don’t, but the fact that I suffered those things was enough to feel myself in danger. Twitter, Reddit, all was the same shit regarding interaction with other people.
Since I joined the fediverse and became more active, those fears were lowering. That, and the fact that I’m taking medication for my ADHD. But a good environment and friendly human interaction help too.
Are you me? I felt the exact same way. Then if it hurts, you have to hide those feelings too because people will make fun of you for being “too sensitive.” “It’s just the internet, get over it.” Rejection sensitivity is real and it sucks. I quit commenting on Reddit because of that. I never understood why people think the internet isn’t a real place, so it’s okay to be cruel. We may be somewhat anonymous here, but we’re still people with feelings. If you’re mentally in a bad place, little things can really feel big. They add up.
I recently got on meds for my ADHD, too. It’s helping me a lot, I hope you’re having good luck with yours too. :)
I agree with you, I gradually became more lurky because the interaction with others was terrible. I hated talking to people.
So far on beehaw it’s been overwhelmingly positive, and my dumb questions didn’t receive snarky remarks or vitriol. Sometimes, people just want to ask a question and create a discussion. That’s mostly me, I’m sure I can find a lot of answers myself, and usually do, but every so often I just want to talk about something with someone, so I’ll repeat a question which was asked 2 years ago.
Besides, asking the same question again could lead to a different discussion anyway. It’s terrible to tell people to “just Google it”. Yeah, they could do that, but its such a negative response. Could easily just say “Hey I found this link on Google, here you go. Try looking into x, y or z and include that in your future searches, let me know if you have any other questions”
I find it interesting that while I don’t yet have many posts/comments on beehaw yet, I find myself significantly more motivated to interact with the community than I ever did on reddit. I think it’s that the community tends to legitimately want to have a conversation rather than seeking validation or wanted to feel superior to others.
It’s terrible to tell people to “just Google it”. Yeah, they could do that, but its such a negative response. Could easily just say “Hey I found this link on Google, here you go. Try looking into x, y or z and include that in your future searches, let me know if you have any other questions”
I felt that to the core. I’m a mid-level software engineer (and by no means do I claim to be an expert on anything) and I sometimes find myself getting frustrated with some of the newer developers when they seem to continue asking the same question to me. That being said, I don’t think I’ve ever been deliberately mean to any of them, maybe just short with them if I’m under a lot of stress (which is something I’ve been working a lot the past year or two).
Telling someone to “just Google it” is very deliberately being mean or rude just to be mean or rude. I’d rather have an empty thread that no one replies to over being talked to like that. No matter how green or nieve someone may be, they still deserve some level of respect.
