I have been living with depression since a teenager and after so many years, I recently finally started receiving psychotherapy (CBT). While I’m already seeing some modest changes in my thinking patterns, my therapist noted that in the last few weeks the severity of the condition is worsening and it might be a good time to talk with my primary care provider about antidepressants as a combination therapy.
This got a reaction out of me, specifically that I don’t like the idea of chemically altering my mental state and losing access to what “I really feel” (as I perceive it).
I know that the logic behind this sentiment is not very solid, but we can’t reason ourselves out of our feelings that easily. For me this is also challenging because I don’t take any recreational substances that affect my mental state, so I can’t tell to myself that it’s like e.g. smoking weed only more targeted and supervised.
I’m curious if this sentiment is familiar to anyone else, and how you dealt with it (whether you decided for or against medication).
I know this is an odd answer, and may not be for everyone. I got the prescription filled, and held the dose in my hand and asked it: “will you hurt me?” And worked with that in meditation. It said it was okay to take. These days, I’m more inclined to research the heck out of it online before starting any drug, any reason. (And: I would never do this with a rando drug which came from who-knows-where.)
If you don’t like how you feel, after giving it a fair shake (several weeks, whether you want to see the change as blood plasma concentrations or rearrangement of neural pathways), you can stop. You’re not committing to it forever and ever; the effects will wear off once you stop taking it.
If you do want to stop, be sure to contact the prescribing doctor—or if the doc is unavailable, at the very least a pharmacist. Some drugs for depression need a gradual tapering-off schedule to avoid nasty effects of going cold turkey.
Good tip, thanks! I did read somewhere that scheduling dose increases and decreases is extremely important with this class of medication, so I’ll definitely only do it with a doctor who can observe me closely.