Millennials recently found themselves bawling with tears of joy after Steve Burns of “Blue’s Clues” fame once again touched their hearts by viciously beating Dan Schneider to death with his bare hands.
  • @Zoop@beehaw.orgEnglish
    37•2 months ago

    I didn’t know it was possible for me to love the Hard Times even more! This is fantastic. I especially love these bits:

    At this moment Steve starts singing ‘here’s my fist it never fails, when I swing it really sails, when it strikes I want to wail, dieeeeee!!!’ and then he just starts bashing in Dan’s skull

    and

    At press time, it was reported that a spotted blue puppy was seen in LA carrying around the decapitated head of convicted pedophile and former Nickelodeon employee Brian Peck.

    Fuck, I just love it so much. Beautiful! Thanks for posting this here, ZeroCool!